We have all heard the phrase, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", but I think many of us can agree that this is not true. Sticks and stones leave physical wounds that will eventually heal, but words can leave an invisible mark that can sit and fester for decades. As a society, we tend to ignore the invisible wounds because they're uncomfortable to talk about, and they are, but not talking about them only makes the problem worse.
In the past, I've been bullied because of my weight (I hit puberty at an early age, which led to me being taller and a little bit bigger than other kids in my class), my breast size, my blonde hair, my terrible math skills, etc. I've gotten pretty good at brushing those things off, but there was one sentence that really stuck with me. In high school, someone said to me, "You don't have real problems." I remember being extremely offended by this; I stuttered something back about what my problems have caused me, but being my awkward self, it came out incoherently and did not have the impact I wanted it to.
Because the truth is I do have problems. Everybody does - some more than others. This is why I was so taken aback by this phrase -- the person saying it was upper class, and seemed to have everything they could wish for, parents who love them, they didn't have to worry about having food on the table or having the things they needed for school, or anything like that. I come from a low socioeconomic status; my dad is the breadwinner for my family, and he is going to school and working at Amazon as a packaging person on the side to bring in the little money we make. My mom is disabled; she has had multiple strokes and can't drive, which means she can't work. The only reason I am able to go to Austin College is the amount of scholarship money I receive, because otherwise I couldn't even dream of affording it. I'm a stress sponge, and it's caused me stomach ulcers and endometriosis. This is why I was so offended by this -- to me, it seemed like this person had no problems while I had many.
But after some maturing and lots of thinking, I realized that I was being judgmental. Everyone has problems, and although they can be vastly different, it doesn't make anyone's problems less real for them. This served as a life lesson for me. For a long time I believed that my problems were worse than everyone's. And they are real, for me. But that doesn't mean that I have the right to judge other people by what they appear to be. I make a conscious effort now to not judge people by the character they present, because you never know what is going on behind a person's mask. Everyone is fighting a different battle, and no one has a right to judge another's by what they present.
