Confession: I am a people pleaser. This means I constantly try to make others feel comfortable because I want them to be happy and am sensitive of the impact of my words and actions on others. Because of this I often find myself apologizing out of habit instead of necessity. Lately, I have come to realize that that needs to end.

Sorry, I was a few minutes late because of traffic. Sorry, I didn’t catch a tiny typo. Sorry, I can’t stay late because of other obligations. I’m sorry, but I think we should do it this way. Sorry, but can you show me how to do this?

I found myself apologizing to coworkers, to waiters, to friends and my contrition became the chorus of my day-to-day life. The simple utterance of the word sorry seems to smooth things over and makes problems seem like not such a big deal, which is why it's so quick to roll off the tongue. After all, it’s easy and seems to smooth the situation over, but it compromises your own authority. But these perceived offenses I was apologizing for were often not my fault. Instead, many were out of my control and others due to human error. No one expects you to do it all, so don’t hold yourself to that non-existent expectation.

Apologies should be an opportunity for humility and taking responsibility, not to undermine yourself. Don’t apologize often or lightly, instead apologize for the big things with meaning and truth behind your words. The problem arises when we say sorry for the small things and it diminishes the value behind our work and our words. It takes away our confidence and the confidence others have in us.

I'm not saying the word sorry is unnecessary, because it is important to be able to realize when you are wrong. And I'm not saying to never apologize, everyone needs a little humility in their lives. But in order for real apologies to have meaning behind them, the word sorry cannot be thrown around so flippantly. It takes the meaning away. Apologize when you caused a negative consequence, not when you perform a small, daily task.

Before you buy into the belief that saying sorry is the easiest solution, ask yourself if you mean it and think about the conviction behind your words. Sorry, but I'm not sorry. Don’t put your authority at risk. In order to be taken seriously, make your apologies count.