I have always wondered what it is like to have grandparents. I only knew one of my grandmothers until I was 10, and my other until I was 7. As for my grandfathers, I never was lucky enough to know either of them. They both passed away before I was born. Therefore, part of my family dynamic has always felt especially empty.

When I was younger, there were always family-based activities and conversations that my classmates at school participated in. "Bring-Your-Grandparent-To-School Day" and the conversations that arose throughout the day about their visits to visit their grandparents always left me feeling alone. When my friends started to have Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, I watched as many of them designated their candles to their grandparents and the memories that they shared with them. When the idea of my Bat Mitzvah started to become a reality, I needed to decide which candles I was designating for who, and the fact that none of my grandparents could be there always depressed me. It broke my heart that, when I dedicated my candles to my grandparents, they wouldn't be able to come light them with me.

On my mom's side of the family, my cousins have one set of grandparents left. Young and especially healthy, they always attend family dinners and get-togethers when my family comes to visit in Atlanta. While we were never especially close with them, my sisters and I valued having grandparent-like figures that we could spend some time with while on vacation. Around the time of my Bat Mitzvah, it once again sunk in that I would have to present a candle for all of the grandparents I didn't have. This sad reality brought a downer upon the whole excitement of the Bat Mitzvah experience. Miraculously, something special eventually changed that.

About three months before my celebration, I got a phone call from my cousins in Atlanta, telling me how much they were looking forward to their trip to come spend my special weekend with me. I notified them of the fact that I was dreading having to face the reality that none of my grandparents were here to celebrate. My cousin, after hesitating, then told me that her grandparents were coming to surprise me and spend my special weekend with me as well. I was so excited- I now knew that I could dedicate another one of my candles to two people who were coming all the way up north to spend my celebration with me. However, my cousin then notified me that my grandparents did not only have a physical gift for me, but also something that no other child would receive for their birthday. My cousins' grandparents wanted to "adopt me" as one of their "grandchildren," meaning that every aspect of the grandparent-grandchild relationship would apply to me and my sisters as well. They would send us birthday cards for our birthdays, fly down for all of our Bat Mitzvahs, and do all of the typical grandparent things that one would expect them to. Hearing this made my heart melt; I had never received such a meaningful gift in my entire life.

Every single year on our birthdays, my two sisters and I all receive phone calls from my "Grandma" Margie and my "Grandpa" Herb, both telling us they love us and to have an incredible day. They have flown down with my mother's side of the family to visit us, made it a priority to send us cards for the holidays, and made dinner with us when we come and visit them. My sisters and I finally have an idea of what it is like to have not only grandparents but also the most special extended family possible.

I'm sure my grandparents, especially my grandfathers whom I never had the chance to meet, would love to know that other people were dedicating their time and love to me and my sisters in the way they were not able to. Committing to be an "adopted grandparent" isn't something that people can easily do. It requires extra love, time, and commitment. However, even though we aren't blood-related, Margie and Herb have given me the best present anyone could ask for: an extended family.