After my 18th birthday, I became fixated on adulthood; what it meant and how to get good at it. My worst fear was that I'd become a "Sucky Adult." A broad term, "Sucky Adult" comes in two types: those that killed their inner child and those that never grew up (for the sake of simplicity, let's call the former Trunchbulls, after the tyrannical headmistress in the movie "Matilda," and the latter Peter Pans).
We all know plenty of "Sucky Adults" and could easily identify them, even as children. Trunchbulls take themselves too seriously and then don't take anyone else seriously enough.While not usually as terrifying as their namesake, they seem just as heartless and belittling as the headmistress of Crunchem Hall Primary School. In contrast, Peter Pans are immature, irresponsible, and flaky. Being an adult doesn't mean you can never play Cowboys and Indians again, it just means you can't play it all the time.They are the type who are still throwing temper tantrums at 21 and blame their problems on everyone else but themselves. Sucky Adults aren't evil, they are selfish, narcissistic, and close-minded.
No one wakes up one morning and suddenly becomes a Sucky Adult. No one imagines that their adulthood will just be one long string of complaints to weary listeners. We all grow up believing that we'll be different than those we denounce, and I'm sure that most Sucky Adults were no exception. But it takes energy and effort to be different, to fight against whatever force that constantly, tirelessly compels you to slowly morph into a Trunchbull or Peter Pan. And not everyone is willing to put that effort in.
This is also not to say that all adults are Sucky Adults. In fact, I've met quite a few extraordinary adults whom I look up to and admire. Whether mentors, teachers, relatives, or just nice people, these adults may not have it all figured out, but that's okay. Having it all figured out isn't what adulthood is about.
Merriam-Webster defines "adult" as "fully developed and mature" (adj.), "dealing with or in explicitly sexual materials" (adj.), "a fully grown person or animal" (noun), and " a human being after an age (as 21) specified by law" (noun). However, the definition of adult that I prefer is the one presented in Rudyard Kipling's poem "If."
Arguably his most famous poem, Rudyard Kipling defines "a Man" as one who can achieve balance in life. One who works hard but also lives well, and refuses to quit even after they've failed. Kipling's requirements for adulthood seem impossible to fulfill, but I think a great adult is the one who continues to try to meet them, even after failing before and despite knowing that it's impossible. And although I knew that legally being considered an adult didn't mean that I was really considered an adult, I felt it was the best time to start becoming an adult, instead of risking becoming a sucky one.
