When I was in high school, I never knew what the term "the one that got away" meant.
Shortly after turning 16, I was no stranger to dating, relationships, and sex. I understood where my confidence was, and I began to put myself out there more. New relationships started to bloom, and old relationships started to fizzle out. Surprisingly, it never deeply burdened or bothered me when people stopped talking to me, or when I broke up with my boyfriend, or vice versa. People began to ask me if there was anyone I had dated that was "the one that got away."
I never knew what they meant up until recently.
And here's my interpretation of him.
Have you ever dated someone that seemed so perfect for you? Almost too perfect? Under no circumstances are they actually perfect but they seem perfect for you; they cater to your needs and you do the same. They know what's best for you and they want nothing more than to love and protect you. You have your coffee and cigarette routine down flat, or your Tuesday lunch routine memorized. You have your favorite coffee shops and your favorite songs and bands and authors. You may have your mini-vacation spots or your favorite drink. Everything seems to be going great, before you look a little deeper. The one that got away always had something below the surface that no one else ever saw; their anger issues or how they physically can't talk about their emotions or what they are thinking. They could be thinking about everything all at once, and then nothing at all.
So to that one that got away: thank you.
Thank you for teaching me that, even though we had amazing moments of pure happiness and bliss, I cannot shy away from the bad. Thank you for teaching me to love and to be loved in return, and thank you for being imperfect. Thank you for making me happy for a short amount of time, and thank you for making me happy for that time period so long ago. Thank you for being quick, and brash and abrasively beautiful, for being a little confused as to what you wanted, because it made me realize exactly what I needed. Thank you for pulling away when I kicked and screamed for you to stay, thank you for taking initiative when I physically couldn't.
To the one that got away: it may have been a good thing that you did. We were so young, naive and dumb. We messed up and realized it was because there was too much living yet to do, and you may have been the one.
But I'm glad you weren't; I am glad you weren't the one. I'm glad that I was able to live and experience what I did, and to meet the people that I did, and to fall in love with other people like I did you. I'm glad that you are living your life and I am living mine, and once in a while when I go back to my hometown, I will remember driving in my baby blue 1996 Oldsmobile Cierra in the dead of summer with you.
Thank you, dear old friend, for teaching me so much when you didn't even know that you were doing so.
To the one that got away: thank you for not staying, for you've taught me so much in doing so.
