I'm a cello performance major. I've been playing the cello since I was nine-years-old, and I've known since I was three that I wanted to play music. I knew since 5th grade I wanted to go to school for music. But every day I'm asked by friends, family, and complete strangers, "What are you going to do with a degree in that?" And in a moment of self-awareness, I always reply, "Starve."
But in reality, there are plenty of performance majors who aren't starving artists on the street. For some reason everyone thinks that all music majors must want to be teachers. I don't want to teach, I want to perform. That's why I'm a cello performance major. I love playing my cello. I love the feeling of satisfaction when I master a piece. I love performing onstage with the Hastings Symphony Orchestra. I love hearing my professor tell me how much I've improved. My first semester at Hastings, I didn't even know how to play half of my major scales and maybe three minor scales (thanks public school). But now? I'm playing C# Major like a pro (almost).
All majors have their difficulties, and music is no different. One difficulty for me is trying to balance practicing, working, schoolwork, and socializing. I try to practice my cello for at least an hour and a half to two hours a day, as well as piano for an hour a day. I also practice for my strings methods class for 45 minutes a day. And don't even get me started on how hard music theory homework is. I work 20 hours a week, and I'm also involved with campus activities such as Alliance and my sorority, KPY. And of course, what college student doesn't want to spend time with their friends?
Practicing is especially difficult because some days there's no motivation to practice, but I know I have to. Some days my practice sessions are so good that I feel on top of the world, and some days it feels like a fruitless attempt with an endless chorus of "Why should I practice? I suck!" and "I give up!" And it's hard to not compare myself to other musicians.
I didn't take private lessons before I came to college, so I felt like I was so behind on things all my classmates have mastered. If I hear someone in the practice room next to me play a piece beautifully, it's hard not to think to myself, "Why can't I be as good as them?" But no matter how much self-doubt I have, I have to remember that others probably feel the same way.
But the real reason I became a performance major? Because despite the challenges I face, the end of every day is progress made. Because I'd rather be dead than be without music. Because why not? I became a performance major for the same reason someone becomes a math major, or an art major, or a science major: it's my passion, and I'm going to pursue it whether you think I can make a career out of it or not.
