According to Urban Dictionary, the definition of confident is sexy.
I agree with that definition. But, if you asked me in eighth grade or throughout middle school in general, I wouldn't know what to say.
Now, however, I do know what to say: confidence is a feeling. Confidence is like the fairy godmother in Cinderella that makes you feel absolutely fabulous. Confidence is feeling like you're on top of the world, and no one can say to come back down. It's when I know I'll do well in my event for speech and that anything or anyone can't ruin how much confidence I feel about performing. Speaking in front of an audience is exhilarating to me, which exudes more confidence.
Throughout middle school [and elementary], I was the shyest kid in my whole grade. I was in special classes and I didn't learn as quickly as my classmates. I was worried that I couldn't catch up with the other people. I was worried that I won't be as smart as the kids my age. But, I learned that everyone goes at their own pace. I didn't start blossoming til the beginning of junior year, the same year I discovered spoken word.
The only year [in my opinion] that I felt confident the whole time was in third grade. I had my favorite teacher, all the activities were fun, I met my best friend--everything was going so well. I think what made me felt like I was failing was the status I had to achieve in middle school: being popular, or getting the trendiest clothes. I didn't like to dress 'girly' at all. I wore [band] t-shirts and jeans, then called it a day.
But, in order to get to where I am right now, I had to take steps to improve myself. Because guess what? I wasn't happy. I had to put in effort and I had to realize that the person I was in middle school wasn't who I wanted to be anymore. I had trouble talking to people, making new friends; basically things everyone else was good at. I was in a race and I was always placed last.
When I started to improve myself, I started to see everything change, not only in me, but in others as well. For example, my goal was to be comfortable with public speaking. And so, I performed at weekend retreat in front of 100+ people, and did that every time I went back. I wanted to build my relationships a lot stronger and eventually became more than friends with my significant other, but as well grew closer with my current friends. To improve building relationships, I always checked in on people within my friend group or close acquaintances.
Today, I'm definitely a lot more confident than I was three to four years ago. I overcame one of the top fears in America. I am also participating in debate and speech events this year, so I'm pretty proud of myself for that. When I get past all my anxiousness, it's truly a reward and I finally could feel like I crossed the finish line.
