From a very young age, I wanted to be society's idea of beautiful. At a tender age where my mind should have been focused on playgrounds and laughter, it was instead focused on the need to be perfect. From magazines to television, the standardized picture of “beauty” gnawed at my mind day and night. I often times went to bed praying that I would wake up looking a little more acceptable for society.
Everywhere I looked just fueled my hatred and disgust towards myself. I wasn't what society wanted. I mean, who in their right mind would want a chunky girl who could barely talk to others without crying? My hatred towards myself progressively grew until I could barely look at myself in the mirror without screaming.
Society had spoiled my idea of beauty; I was unaware that society's idea of beauty was very skewed. I have (thankfully) come to learn that society has a very vague idea of beautiful. Society drills into young women's minds that they should be perfect from head to toe. Their hair should always be fixed, their makeup should never be streaky, their clothing should only be the best and they should be a set weight. This perception of such a broad term is toxic and one can not set a concrete way for something so abstract.
I remember looking at pictures of myself and crying because I didn’t look like others. My hair a lackluster brown, my eyes an odd shade of blue, my skin full of blemishes. I felt ugly. After so many years of staring at the mirror and hating what I saw, I finally saw myself for what I truly am: a beautiful, unique woman. The characteristics that I had for so long written off as disgusting stood out to me. My scarred skin and uneven complexion were no longer my nightmare; they were my savior. I may not be society's idea of beauty, but I am beautiful. I have so many characteristics that make me me.
As a young woman who is surrounded by a world so set on one certain idea of beauty, it’s hard to overcome your mind and love yourself. So, as I sit in my bedroom writing this, I can't help but think of the little girls and young adults struggling with the same concept.
I want to be the one to tell you that you are gorgeous. I know that sometimes it's hard to realize this. I know that sometimes you turn on the television and can't help but wonder why you don't look like Blake Lively or Lily Collins. It's hard to not compare yourself to others when society constantly tells us that we should. Beauty is very subjective and we as a society should not be bound by one set idea. You may not look like Blake or Lily, but you are you and that’s pretty damn impressive.
Don't be afraid to be you. Wear what you like, eat what you want, dye your hair that gorgeous turquoise you’ve always wanted. Don't let society shackle you down, be your own beautiful.
