Why You Need To Love Yourself First

Why You Need To Love Yourself First

Be your own bae.
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It took me a while to figure out that I didn't need someone else. At a younger age, I always thought having a boyfriend would make me a better person. But in reality, it's not like this.

All throughout middle school, I would try and try to get a boyfriend because it was "the cool thing to do". And I never really understood why I was striving so much to have that other person in my life at such a young age. It was always in the back of my mind that I would become cool if I had a boyfriend. This is what hooked me, I think, because I was kind of a loner child in middle school, not having too many real friends. I thought this would help me, and a lot of my friends had boyfriends, too, so I carried this thought with me until sophomore year of high school. Freshman year, I didn't even want to go to the homecoming dance because my best friend at the time had a date and I didn't, but I sucked it up and went anyways. There were a few guys I had my eye on in my first year of high school, but nothing ever worked out. This was the time where people were getting into "serious" relationships, and again, I was the only one not getting into one. The summer before Sophomore year, I met a guy while I was on vacation in New York and we stayed in touch and he was my "boyfriend", disregarding the fact that I was 15 and trying to maintain a long-distance relationship. Didn't work out. And at this point, I was just confused: why weren't people wanting to date me. Up until now, I've had my fair share of relationships with guys not lasting longer than 4 months. And when they did last longer than 4 months, something would make me lose my trust for them. And I still blame myself sometimes.

But why was this such a focus for me? Soon after I went through the phase in my life where I became confident in who I am, I decided that I didn't need to look for a boyfriend, they would come to me. Something would surely happen soon. And what's so wrong with loving yourself first? I save so much money not buying things for a boyfriend, I have more time to focus on me and what I have to do, and I don't ever have to look nice for anyone. It's probably the easiest lifestyle ever. Okay, there are sometimes when I get jealous of all three of my best friends who ALL HAVE BOYFRIENDS. (And somehow I'm always the one to give advice?) But I don't let it get the best of me, I just continue to live my life and do what I need to do.

I think there comes a time in life where you just have to look our for yourself and yourself only. You can't spend so much time worrying when the next boy is going to come sweep you off your feet because it's not going to happen that way. Being almost eighteen has made me realize that I have to be a strong, independent woman in this world because some people think that we can't do things that other people can. Being a strong woman will teach others and younger girls that it is okay to be alone and that it is okay to not have a boy next to you at all times.

Listen up, ladies. You do you! Buy yourself chocolate, wear makeup for yourself, buy yourself dinner, binge watch that show alone on Netflix, cuddle with a giant teddy bear you bought for yourself. It's all you! Love yourself and I assure you all good things will come out of it. BE YOUR OWN BAE!

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3 Reasons Why Step Dads Are Super Dads

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I often hear a lot of people complaining about their step-parents and wondering why they think that they have any authority over them. Although I know that everyone has different situations, I will be the first to admit that I am beyond blessed to have a step dad. Yep, I said it. My life wouldn't be the same that it is not without him in it. Let me tell you why I think step dads are the greatest things since sliced bread.

1. They will do anything for you, literally.

My stepdad has done any and every thing for me. From when I was little until now. He was and still is my go-to. If I was hungry, he would get me food. If something was broken, he would fix it. If I wanted something, he would normally always find a way to get it. He didn't spoil me (just sometimes), but he would make sure that I was always taken care of.

SEE ALSO: The Thank You That Step-Parents Deserve

2. Life lessons.

Yup, the tough one. My stepdad has taught me things that I would have never figured out on my own. He has stood beside me through every mistake. He has been there to pick me up when I am down. My stepdad is like the book of knowledge: crazy hormonal teenage edition. Boy problems? He would probably make me feel better. He just always seemed to know what to say. I think that the most important lesson that I have learned from my stepdad is: to never give up. My stepdad has been through three cycles of leukemia. He is now in remission, yay!! But, I never heard him complain. I never heard him worry and I never saw him feeling sorry for himself. Through you, I found strength.

3. He loved me as his own.

The big one, the one that may seem impossible to some step parents. My stepdad is not actually my stepdad, but rather my dad. I will never have enough words to explain how grateful I am for this man, which is why I am attempting to write this right now. It takes a special kind of human to love another as if they are their own. There had never been times where I didn't think that my dad wouldn't be there for me. It was like I always knew he would be. He introduces me as his daughter, and he is my dad. I wouldn't have it any other way. You were able to show me what family is.

So, dad... thanks. Thanks for being you. Thanks for being awesome. Thanks for being strong. Thanks for loving me. Thanks for loving my mom. Thanks for giving me a wonderful little sister. Thanks for being someone that I can count on. Thanks for being my dad.

I love you!

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To The Big-Hearted Girls Who Just Can't Hit The Block Button

Your compassion for others knows no bounds, and that's why you can't seem to let them go.

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Not everyone is worthy of your good heart.

It might be hard to accept that, but it's true. The ones that don't deserve your attention and your care always out themselves. Maybe they take advantage of your kindness, maybe they use you for your love, or maybe they hurt you because they envy some aspect of you or your life. Whatever the case may be, I know you feel the pain from it. I know you are not naive enough to believe that they don't mean the hurtful things they say or that the awful things they put you through are only mere accidents.

Your problem is that you have too big of a heart. You love giving second chances and when they screw that chance up as well, you just can't help yourself from giving them a third, a fourth, or a fifth. Far too easily you are swept up in this cycle of forgiving and forgetting, only to have it blow up in your face time and time again.

You know better.

How many times have you sworn you wouldn't help them again, that it was the last time you'd speak to them, only to snatch up your phone the second you see their name pop up across the screen? How often have you cried over someone who only wanted to be a part of your life when they needed something from you?

Stop giving your all to people that don't care.

Trust me, I know it's easier said than done. It's a difficult habit to break, but once you do you are completely and utterly free from the toxicity. If you're looking for a sign to block that boy who has done nothing but break your heart, or if you were waiting for your cue to finally end that friendship that does nothing but make you feel small, here it is.

Unfortunately, not everyone is going to treat you with the love and respect that you so freely give. Most of the time the people that treat you like crap are just crappy people. It's not your responsibility to save every troubled soul, and you've probably learned by now that not all of them want to be saved.

There's nothing wrong with looking for the good in people, but when they start to drain you of your light you need to have the strength to let them go.

To the girls gifted with hearts too sensitive and ready to burst with compassion, it's OK to cut ties with those who hurt you time and time again. It doesn't mean you've stooped to their level; it doesn't mean you're a bad person. You tried your hardest, but toxic people rarely change their ways. You don't deserve that kind of pain.

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