Why You Need To Love Yourself First

Why You Need To Love Yourself First

Be your own bae.

It took me a while to figure out that I didn't need someone else. At a younger age, I always thought having a boyfriend would make me a better person. But in reality, it's not like this.

All throughout middle school, I would try and try to get a boyfriend because it was "the cool thing to do". And I never really understood why I was striving so much to have that other person in my life at such a young age. It was always in the back of my mind that I would become cool if I had a boyfriend. This is what hooked me, I think, because I was kind of a loner child in middle school, not having too many real friends. I thought this would help me, and a lot of my friends had boyfriends, too, so I carried this thought with me until sophomore year of high school. Freshman year, I didn't even want to go to the homecoming dance because my best friend at the time had a date and I didn't, but I sucked it up and went anyways. There were a few guys I had my eye on in my first year of high school, but nothing ever worked out. This was the time where people were getting into "serious" relationships, and again, I was the only one not getting into one. The summer before Sophomore year, I met a guy while I was on vacation in New York and we stayed in touch and he was my "boyfriend", disregarding the fact that I was 15 and trying to maintain a long-distance relationship. Didn't work out. And at this point, I was just confused: why weren't people wanting to date me. Up until now, I've had my fair share of relationships with guys not lasting longer than 4 months. And when they did last longer than 4 months, something would make me lose my trust for them. And I still blame myself sometimes.

But why was this such a focus for me? Soon after I went through the phase in my life where I became confident in who I am, I decided that I didn't need to look for a boyfriend, they would come to me. Something would surely happen soon. And what's so wrong with loving yourself first? I save so much money not buying things for a boyfriend, I have more time to focus on me and what I have to do, and I don't ever have to look nice for anyone. It's probably the easiest lifestyle ever. Okay, there are sometimes when I get jealous of all three of my best friends who ALL HAVE BOYFRIENDS. (And somehow I'm always the one to give advice?) But I don't let it get the best of me, I just continue to live my life and do what I need to do.

I think there comes a time in life where you just have to look our for yourself and yourself only. You can't spend so much time worrying when the next boy is going to come sweep you off your feet because it's not going to happen that way. Being almost eighteen has made me realize that I have to be a strong, independent woman in this world because some people think that we can't do things that other people can. Being a strong woman will teach others and younger girls that it is okay to be alone and that it is okay to not have a boy next to you at all times.

Listen up, ladies. You do you! Buy yourself chocolate, wear makeup for yourself, buy yourself dinner, binge watch that show alone on Netflix, cuddle with a giant teddy bear you bought for yourself. It's all you! Love yourself and I assure you all good things will come out of it. BE YOUR OWN BAE!

Cover Image Credit: pexels.com

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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7 Little Forms Of Self-Care You Can Do On The Daily

Everyone has bad days, let's make them a little better!


The truth is everyone has at least one bad day in their lives. Even though some don't want to admit it, there are small things that everyone can do to make their bad days a little bit brighter.

1. Write encouraging notes/quotes in your planner.

I found that writing small notes of encouragement above random days in my planner makes me smile when I'm stressing in lecture.

2. Find a great new song to listen to.

For me, perusing Spotify for a random playlist, whether it be a throwback song that I forgot about or a brand new song by an artist that I never listened to can brighten my day.

3. Clearing your desk and starting fresh.

Small things like organizing and clearing my desk make me feel a lot better. I clean off the trash and random papers that don't need my attention at that very moment and I'm ready to restart. Even putting my tabs into OneTab, an add on for most computers that files your open tabs, and focusing on one class at a time is relaxing.

4. Lighting a new candle/putting a new scent in your diffuser.

A new scent can actually change the mood that you are in. I just changed the wax in my warmer and I already feel more open to what is next to come.

5. Make your bed.

If it isn't a habit of yours already, just make your bed. It is much more refreshing to come back to your room to a nice bed rather than just wanting to jump in and forget all your responsibilities.

6. Call your mom, grandma, or grandpa.

Just hearing my mom's voice makes me feel a lot better. Even if it is "time consuming", I promise you will feel so much better!

7. Clean out your phone.

Delete old pictures, apps, social media, and contacts that you don't need or want anymore. By doing so, it will open up more space on your phone and open more head space.

No matter how bad your day is, just know that it will get better!

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