If you always are the one who cares less, then you can never get hurt. This advice has been given to me many times throughout the years, and I think it is the worst that I have received. Maybe listening to this could have saved me a few tears, but I would rather feel than constrain my emotions into a bottle. Ideally, I would hope feelings would be mutual in all relationships, but if not, I would still choose being the one who cares more. For some strange reason "caring more" has gained a negative association with it, and it bothers me endlessly.
"Don't text them first, then they have the upper-hand," people will say. Since when have human emotions turned into such a game? More importantly, why is the one who cares less the "winner" of this game? I say you lose. You always lose. Maybe you don't end up hurt, but having to pretend you don't care all the time seems like a miserable way to live.
Maybe they care less, and I end up broken-hearted; but I still win because at one point I felt stronger emotions than you will ever feel. You may never feel the pain of a broken-heart, but you also never felt the exhilarating thrill of being in love like I do. Every hug and glance that shot adrenaline through my body is simply body language, a gesture to you.
You may not have any lows if you are the one who care less, but you will never have higher highs than I do. If I care about someone, I want to show it. If you don't show the people you care about most that you do care, then who are you caring for? It is scary to think that the feelings won't be reciprocated, but is that so bad in comparison to losing someone for not caring enough? So maybe you don't have any lows and you don't get hurt if you never allow yourself to just let go and care, but you will never have the amazing highs that you can gain from showing someone that you care.
If I want to send a text to someone so they know I am thinking of them, then I will. If I want to see someone, I'll make an effort. I'm not saying to pursue people who treat you like dirt, but it's worth a shot to show someone you like that you actually like them -- instead of this generation's idea of ignoring a text or waiting a few days to ask someone to hang-out as a way to make someone "want you more." I don't want to be bombarded with text messages, but if you take days at a time to answer thinking it will make me gain interest, you are doing the exact opposite.
Maybe this is dramatic, but life is filled with unpleasant surprises. You truly never know what each day may bring or what can happen to anyone at any given moment. The idea of something happening to the person I care about during a time period where I am "playing it cool" and not talking to them for awhile is terrifying to me. I would much rather tell the people I care about that I do every day than living in fear or not being cared for back.
