Be The Type Of Friend You'd Be Friends With Yourself

Instead Of Focusing On What You Want From A Friend, Focus On Being The Kind Of Friend You'd Want To Have

Treat others how you want to be treated.


We always talk about the kinds of friends that we want. We want friends who will listen and go on adventures with us. We want someone who will have sleepovers with us every weekend and let us become part of their family. And that's important, don't get me wrong. It's nice to know what kind of friend you want and what you want them to do with you.

But while you're thinking of what you want out of a friendship with someone, you should also think about what you can give to the friendship.

When you want someone who listens, make sure you are listening to those around you. And don't just make sure you're listening, but make sure you go a step further and make them feel appreciated in the conversation.

When you want someone who will let their walls down and open up to you, be open to them. Let your walls down and show them you trust them by letting them into your past. Trust goes both ways. You sometimes have to take that first step to break down the walls.

If you want someone who is going to go the extra mile and be there whenever possible, make yourself available to them, even at times when it might not be convenient for you. Go the extra mile for them. Get them a glass of water when you get one for yourself. Pick up their favorite snack from the store if you are going to be hanging out later.

Friendship is not just about what you can get from the relationship, but also what you can give. It's about how you can make someone else's life just a little bit better, a little bit easier, through the kind of friend you're being.

When you think of the kind of friend you want in your life, also think about the kind of friend you're being. How are you greatly affecting someone's life? How can you make them smile? Be the friend that you want. More than that, be the friend they need — even if that's not the kind of friend you want to be at the moment.

Popular Right Now

An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.

“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."


Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.


From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

Related Content

Facebook Comments