Remember that day...like a week ago, or a year, or yesterday, when all you wanted to do was cuddle up in a ball and cry? When you felt alone or rejected, when your test came back as the complete opposite grade you figured it would, when you forgot to finish something important, when you spill your drink on your favorite shirt, when you trip in the parking lot only to make yourself late for your destination and look like an absolute clutz? Remember all of those times you felt like no one was going to be there to help you back up again?
I do, I remember them perfectly. I also remember myself letting my weaknesses show, and allowing myself to hurt over things I could not control. I remember pushing people away and locking out life until I decided to let myself breathe again, almost as if that was the only way I knew how to cope with things...maybe it was the only way I knew. I have always been one to let my emotions get the best of me, and I never thought about how weak it was making me look, I was placing a shiny target on my back for all of the negative that could potentially bring me down, it was awful.
Just yesterday someone near and dear to my heart explained to me that my weakness is not going to get me very far in life. When I am down I have got to learn how to pick myself up again and smile anyway, because someday, I could only have myself to rely on. I can trust in the Lord, I can pray for strength, but what I am not realizing is that the strength is already inside of me, I just have to actually WANT to know and learn how to use it. He has already given me the strength I need to survive this cold cruel world, and whether I choose to enhance it or not is my own personal decision.
Those days where it feels like nothing is going right, they are literally some of the hardest days in the whole wide world, but I remind myself that there is always someone going through so much worse, and that could be me; if I can't be strong over the minor things, the major things could run me over one day, so I am choosing to start now.
That is my little 30-second shpeal about weakness...be strong today.