Valentine’s is a beautiful holiday where couples go on dates and express how much they mean to each other. It is so romantic. However, not everyone gets to experience such joys of this holiday. This article is for the single men and women who do not have a Valentine. This is not a single’s pity-party read, it’s more of an encouraging love-yourself-type-read. I hope you enjoy.

One thing seldom stressed in society is 1. to love yourself and 2. how to love yourself. Because it’s not enforced like being in a relationship is, you have people not loving themselves or halfway doing it and then jumping into relationships doing the same thing: halfway loving. The results are evident with high breakup and divorce rates, damaged hearts, lack of trust, and bitter people trying to look for love again.

Me personally, I don’t have a Valentine but I’m not going to let that ruin my Valentine’s Day. I went out and bought myself some balloons, two cards, one big and one small one that I am going to write in and address myself with. I bought a teddy bear, with a box of chocolate, and some perfume. This may sound lame, but I am going to set my two big balloons outside of my door this Tuesday along with the other goodies I bought and be happy for my Valentine’s Day. This holiday is going to be about me loving myself and taking care of myself and making myself happy.

I overthink everything, even in my friendships. I often question if I’m being a good friend and I’m often very hard on myself. Well, even starting now, before Valentine, I am loving me. I am taking things with a grain of salt as they come and learning everything I possibly can. This Valentine’s Day is just for me to let go of how I think love is supposed to be, how people are supposed to be, and just accept what is. Well, that starts with me letting go of all the standards I hold myself to. You know most people hold others to standards they can’t hold themselves. Me? I’m the opposite. I hold people to a third of the standards I hold myself- and that is a lot. So I’m letting it go. And I ain’t referring to common standards like respect, courtesy, consistency, stability, spirituality and the like; but I’m referring to letting go of the standards of how I think people should be love, should be loyal…should be them. TD Jakes said it best. He said paraphrased that, “Everyone loves, gives, and accepts at different capacities. And just because it doesn’t look like the way we love, or give, or accept, doesn’t make theirs any less than what it is.”

This is what I’m learning in my singleness. I am learning how to accept myself and my love. So now, if I make a mistake, it's okay. I can still love myself and not be so hard on myself. I can accept my flaws. And you know, when you practice this while you are single, it becomes effortless. So when God blesses you to be in a relationship with your husband or your wife, you can do the same to them and for them. But let me let you in on a little secret to achieving this. You must first love God. He is the foundation of all relationships and love because He is Love. He is helping me love myself, having patience with myself, and accepting myself. He is my forever Valentine.

So yeah, it does look nice to see couples go out on dates, see them kiss, and holding each other’s hands while walking, and getting each other gifts, and the whole nine. It’s beautiful. But don’t be envious or jealous. Be happy. Learn everything you can about yourself. Even if you don’t have the money to do something nice for yourself, just enjoy yourself. Even if it’s spent at work. Just enjoy and spread the love to someone else. You don’t have to have a Valentine. You are the Valentine. Have a great week!