Can I tell you something? For years I encountered many obstacles in my life-- self-hate, low self-esteem, self-harming, eating disorders, and bouts of depression. I had many sessions with the counselor on campus (once I got to college) and many other people before that didn’t seem to help. I knew how to fake what they wanted to hear. I knew just how to make them think I was better. Most of it was because I hated the idea of talking to them. I didn’t want to be there so I didn’t go in with an open mind.

Once I changed my mindset and went in with an open mind, it helped me. Today I am better because of it. However, it's not an easy process healing from those wounds, and healing had to take place outside of the counseling room, as much as it did inside.

I learned that in order to get better, I had to want to get better. I had to work super hard. It’s similar to how much work it takes to lose weight, or anything else for that matter. Nothing in life comes easy. Although it’s similar, this stuff is in your mind. I used to treat others better than I treated myself. I was great at loving everyone else, but when it came to loving myself, I failed.

Think of your friends, your moms, your aunts, your grandmas, your sisters, and all of the other ladies in your life. Now name one nice thing you've heard them say about themselves. Just one.

Maybe one of these women, or a few, aren’t afraid to be themselves. To step forward and create their own path. But more than likely, many of these women have gone through similar obstacles in their own life.

It’s hard to look at all your humanness and love yourself, flaws and all. When you stare in the mirror and pick apart yourself: your acne, your freckles, your stretch marks, your chubby face and your hair. You want to be someone else, but who wants to be someone’s knock off version when you have the ability to be the original version of yourself?

I want every single one of you to boldly love yourself. To fall so in love with yourself that you stand up for yourself, that you feel confident and aren’t afraid of being who you are. Because you are worth it. It’s a long process and will be a lot of hard work, but you can do it. Just keep telling yourself that you’re going to do the next good thing for yourself, and then the next one and the next one after that. Take it one step at a time and before you know it, you’ll be there.

To help with this, here’s an activity that I’ve used (as well as a few other people that I know!). All you need is a journal and the ability to answer a few questions.

1. Make a list of ways in which you care for others and show them love (3 minutes)

This question is complex, but to simplify it just think about what you do for other people. Are you a good listener? Do you give compliments to others? List as many ways you can think of that shows you care for others and that you show them love.

2. Make a list of ways in which you care for yourself and show yourself love (3 minutes)

This one might hurt. I know it’s hard and the first time I did it I struggled. I stared at the blank paper forever. Be honest. Do you listen to yourself? Do you feed yourself right? Do you allow others to use you?

3. Now compare the lists.

Are there any areas where you took great care of others but not yourself? Are there areas where you look at them and think “I can do better."? Find the solution to this; schedule yourself some me time and learn to say no.

4. Now write another list of things that you like about yourself, or compliments, and briefly state why (10 minutes) Include your physical compliments as well.

Was that hard? I bet you wanted to write things like my eyes are okay. I'm a nice person. That's fine, but does that really get to the core of who you are? So who are you? Write that down. Then don't ever forget it.

We can do hard things because we are worth it.

We can love ourselves just as much as we do others. We should want the next generation of fierce women to say that they learned it from their mothers, sisters, cousins, etc. that they are worth it because you showed them that you were worth it first.

Be fierce. Be Brave. Be You.