If The Bars at Bama Were Boys
Community

If The Bars at Bama Were Boys

"So, are you going out tonight?"

484

This isn't an article about the kind of boys you meet at each of these bars. That is a story for another time. Rather, this is an article matching each bar's personality to a guy you've dated or will date (most times unfortunately). If you're an out-of-towner visiting for football season, maybe this can serve as a directory to where you might want to spend your time on gameday. If you're a Bama student hopefully this gives you a good laugh. So, let's raise a glass to all our boys past, present and future and remember that you miss 100% of the ~shots~ you don't take!

Rounders

media.giphy.com

As a Freshman, Rounders has hung the moon and you couldn't be happier to go there. A few months ago you were sneaking booze into grad parties and now you're just out on the town! It seems like a too good to be true miracle. I'd be lying if I said I didn't play a big part in keeping the lights on in that fine establishment my first year. Every day after freshman year you become exponentially ashamed that you thought you were the coolest person ever when going there. But, hey, it was a beautiful shiny new penny with loud music, strobe lights, confetti and an incredibly dangerous staircase. Rounders as a boy encompasses all the guys who seemed like really great ideas at the time but you now wonder what the @#$% you were ever thinking. Sometimes you go back (even if it's just for a date party), which is similar to stalking ex-boys who you realized weren't a good fit when you figured out they didn't know the difference between your and you're. A part of you will always have a soft spot for getting rounded, but you're so so glad you've (mostly) moved on.

Harry's

media.giphy.com

Ahhh the Home of Midget Wrestling (their words, not mine), Harry's is a little outside the box and you might not have heard of it until the middle of Freshman year. Established in 1972, Harry's is a tradition and a rite of passage. This is like your first boyfriend full of excitement and butterflies. Trying the Crazy Bucket and going to Harry's is inevitable and if you want to date, you can't not have a first boyfriend!

Rhythm and Brews

media.giphy.com

Rhythm is the beautiful stranger you meet at a country concert. He has facial hair and drives a truck. His name is either Dierks, Jackson, Chase or maybe even Dallas. He's for sure one of your favorites you've ever dated and you're holding on tight like you're riding the bull!

The Red Shed

media.giphy.com

A bar with ring toss, a relaxed vibe and great bands, The Red Shed is like the laid back sort of outdoorsy guy you date. He's not as country as the boy equivalent of Rhythm but he's fun and the kind of guy you cozy up with by the fire. He likes hearing your old stories and visits his grandma on the reg.

Sideline

media.giphy.com

I don't even know how to really describe Sideline but I'll do my best. Sideline: is it a small chill bar? Or is it a small rave? What's up with the Panda Head? Is it a graduation party for everyone who has outgrown rounders? Why is there only a single stall bathroom? This is the guy that always has you second guessing and wondering what his deal is. He also loves EDM and is saving up for some sort of Gucci bag. He drives a bright green Camaro and is proud of it.

Bear Trap

media.giphy.com

Bear Trap is the guy who is very hard to approach. If you've been up or down their stairs you know exactly what I mean. Maybe he's famous or of a higher social standing but something about him makes you feel like he's out of your league. Because of their amazing prizes for their Bingo night, there are also shades of the older wealthier man you might date too (even if he was a little hard to reach).

ICON

media.giphy.com

Being that ICON is a drag queen show bar, this bar is your gay best friend! He's always down for a night out with the girls and probably has better dance moves than you. You love him dearly and are planning your synchronized dance routine to "Poker Face" as you read this.

Jackie's

media.giphy.com

If you end up here you feel like the captain of all things random. Don't get me wrong, I love Thursday night karaoke as much as the next girl, but if you're the friend who only wants to go there, you probably are often outvoted. Jackie's is the unexpected guy you never notice, who becomes a staple without even trying. Like a safety date or a "if you're 30 and I'm 30" kinda deal, he may not be your first choice, but he'll always be waiting in the wings.

Egan's

media.giphy.com

Egan's is the equivalent of the motorcycle bad boy you dated for like a month. An experience for sure.

The Booth

media.giphy.com

If you're like me, you thought The Booth was just a pop-up stand on frat lawns on gameday, not an actual place. The Booth is classic, yet aloof and somewhat hidden down a side street. Being that it's relatively small, it reminds me of the guy who is a little too cool for school, thinks he's better than you, and probably stands you up for a date or two but you just can't let him go.

Moe's BBQ

media.giphy.com

If Moe's were a guy, he'd be the foodie that you date who takes you on epic dates. This is because the food there rocks and it's always a good time. Famous for their Bushwacker drink (which is a glorified milkshake), Moe's is the guy you broke up with and you missed the incredible dates he took you on more than you missed him.

Innisfree

media.giphy.com

Innis is the best place in town to watch a football game and fill up on your favorite bar food! If Innis was a guy he'd be the guy who loved you but loved sports just a little more. Well, a lot more. He was late to numerous dates because of games going into overtime and dragged you to countless sporting events as "dates". Putting out Cool Ranch Doritos and Mozzerella Sticks for him and his friends while they watched games on Sundays became your part time job for this chapter of your life. If you were together at Christmas you got the apparel of his favorite team as your gift. You weren't shocked when he asked you to be a referee while he was a basketball player for Halloween. He has a bobblehead of his favorite player on his desk at work (which is undeniably the reason he hasn't been promoted yet) and he forgot your birthday because he was busy making his Fantasy Football Draft. He's working on his beer gut as we speak.

Quick Grill

media.giphy.com

I know this isn't a bar but it is part of the night life of Alabama. Admit it, Messy Fries have saved your soul at least once at 3 a.m.. When your crush left you on read, the DJ never played your favorite song, and no one venmoed you back for the Uber, they were there for you. This is the equivalent of the guy who walks you home. You'll probably friendzone him and he's picked you up from the airport at least one time.

Gallette's

media.giphy.com

Gallette's is the guy you marry (maybe you'll serve Yellowhammers at your wedding). He's the one worth waiting for and your family loves him too. His family has the CUTEST traditions. Gallette's is the long awaited bar for real, full-fledged twenty one year olds, and I imagine going there on my sign night and feeling the same level of excitement (if not more) than I will feel walking down the aisle one day.

Remember to drink and date responsibly!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Lifestyle

13 Father's Day Shirts Under $30 To Gift The Dad Wearing The Same Two Every Day In Quarantine

You've been begging him to change it up, and now he won't have a choice.

Let's be honest: most of our dads are wearing the same shirts today that they probably wore while changing our diapers and holding our hands as we learned to walk. Sure, we love them for it. But whether you're quarantined with him wearing the same two shirts on rotation every week, or every time you FaceTime him, you know what he'll be wearing before he answers the phone, he needs to add some new items to his wardrobe rotation.

And you know dads — they'll feel guilted into using practically anything you were to give them. But these shirts are sure-fire ways to get him to switch up his wardrobe, and he'll be more than excited to wear each and every one of them. Plus, most of them are under twenty dollars, so no harm in dropping more than a couple in to your cart and letting Dad have his pick of his favorites.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Sat Down (Virtually) With Hollis Tuttle To Talk About Coronavirus's Impact On The Wellness Industry

Just because coronavirus has greatly impacted the wellness industry doesn't mean wellness stops.

If you're anything like me, your weekly fitness classes are a huge part of your routine. They keep me fit, healthy, and sane. Honestly, these classes help my mental health stay in tip-top shape just as much as they help my physical health.

Due to the coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic, gyms and fitness studios are facing temporary closure. Yes, this means my personal routine is thrown a curveball, but this also means the wellness industry is one of many that is looking at unemployment and hardship. Do I miss my Monday spin class? Of course. But do the wellness professionals whose worlds were flipped upside down have a lot more to overcome than a slight change of routine? Absolutely. Thankfully, if anyone can prove the ultimate flexibility, it's the wellness industry.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

My Boyfriend Has Changed Since Quarantine Began, And I Don't Know What To Do

"All he says is 'I love you,' which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him."

Each week Swoonie B will give her advice on anonymous topics submitted by readers. Want to Ask Swoonie B something related to dating and relationships? Fill out this form here — it's anonymous.

Dear Swoonie B,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year, which has been the best year of my life (as far as i know). Well we go to different schools and are both very involved in sports and school activities which makes it hard to see each other. During this quarantine it is especially hard. Since we haven't seen each other in over a week things are kind of tense. He won't really talk to me much and I always check in on him to make sure he is doing well and to just see how he is, ya know being a girlfriend. Well apparently that is driving him crazy and I don't understand how. I'm not being controling or clingy, i'm just checking in on him. While this is happening, I also have noticed how he just doesn't really care anymore. I'll leave him paragraphs of sweet love letters to wake up to and I encourage him throughout his day but I just don't get it in return. I love him with all of me and I obviously care about him a lot. Also, I've compared how he talked to me before all of this has happened. He was so sweet and caring, texting me a lot and telling me he loves me and just making sure everything is OK but he doesn't do that anymore. All he says is "I love you," which is great and all but OMG I can't get anything else out of him. He is a little stressed at home with trying to find another job to pay for his car, constantly having to do things for his mom, being responsible for his siblings, and managing school. I know thats a lot but im doing a lot too right now and going through a lot of the same stuff he is but It seems to me he just does not care and i don't know what to do. Please help me or give me some advice on what to say, what not to say, what to do, what not to do. Anything at this point will help. Thank you!

If I had a dollar for every time I heard "these are unprecedented times," I'd be rich. But that's because it's true!

Keep Reading... Show less
Tower 28

On paper, Amy Liu appears to be one of the most intimidating women in the beauty business. Not only did she launch her beauty marketing career at legendary Smashbox Cosmetics, she went on to lead luxury, high-end brands like Kate Somerville and Josie Maran — just to name a few.

But sitting down to meet Liu for the first time in an underground New York bar over a year ago felt like meeting a friend I'd known since childhood. As she walked into the bar in a chic red dress, it was impossible not to feel her immediate warm presence. When she talks about her history as an entrepreneur (and truly, at heart, she always was one), you don't get the sense that she's selling you anything, though with her impeccable taste, I'd use anything that had her glowing review attached to it.

Keep Reading... Show less

Sixth grade was the year that you were allowed to participate in a school sport. This was what my friends and I had all been waiting for since we started middle school. I had already made the cheer team with my friends, but I had to wait to start that in the winter since we cheered for basketball. I really wanted to have some sort of activity in the fall, but I did not know what to do. Somehow, I decided to run cross country. Not really sure how I decided on a sport where it was quite literally just running. A few of my friends were doing it as well, so I knew it was going to be fun.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Working Out Every Day During Quarantine Helps Me Feel A Sense Of Control

Physical activity helps my mental health in a world that feels uncertain.

Before the pandemic, I exercised a handful of times a week at best. In quarantine, I've been exercising every single day. I don't want this article to be another spiel about how exercise "changed my life," and all the other cliches that health gurus use to convince others to work out more. Rather, I want to reveal that exercise is a tool that works for me because it boosts my mental health when I feel like the world is spiraling out of control.

Keep Reading... Show less

To say that 2020 has been a bit of a roller coaster is an extreme understatement. Who knew that this decade was going to start off like THIS!? Not me, not you, and not that sweet old lady who lives down the street. One thing is certain though — while the world may be a mess right now, you can still fuel your body with food that keeps you happy and healthy. Thankfully, as we are all spending more time inside, you can get healthy snacks delivered straight to your front door! Amazon has never been more convenient (and tasty).

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments