Embarrassing stuff happens to all of us. It hard not to feel like everyone will always remember the most humiliating moments of your life. It's especially hard not to feel that way when every time you see a photo of the former first family smirking you think, "Did the Obamas somehow find a copy of my Chad Michael Murray fan mail?" Here are nine times when Barack and Malia Obama probably weren't, but definitely may have been, laughing at my pain.
1. Before the presidency.
Here we see then-Senator Obama and young Malia playfully giggle as they pose for the press. But, who's to say they hadn't just passed me on the streets of Chicago and couldn't stop laughing about the fact that I had to wear braces, a top expander and a bottom expander at the same time?
2. When they met Malala.
"Malala, you are a ray of light in a dark dark world," or, "So Ray spends the whole year thinking he was going to ask her to prom and then... he doesn't?"
3. At this basketball game.
What a cute pic of Barack and Malia sharing some quality time courtside. Makes it a lot less cute if you consider the fact that they may be looking at two separate copies of my fourth grade school photo.
4. During his second inauguration.
To the naked eye, it appears that Malia is beaming with pride after her father took his Oath of Office. But, it's just as likely that she can't help but grin because Barack is whispering, "Remember the bob grow-out phase?"
5. On this random couch.
The story about how long it took me to have my first kiss is so funny that they had to get Sasha in on the action.
6. Their Hawaiian vacay.
Exciting day at The Honolulu Zoo? More like finally excited to get their hands on a VHS copy of my circus camp performance.
7. Talking to this chef.
Everyone knows chefs aren't funny. Meaning the only logical conclusion here is that this guy is regaling the first family with the tale of the time Pete Wentz's dad slammed a door in my face.
8. Boarding Air Force One.
Yikes, clearly some snitch from my high school told them that whenever I'd eat a snack in homeroom a group of boys would say that I was eating dog kibble.
9. During this freakin' family laughfest, apparently.
Looks like the same snitch from high school thought the Obamas needed to know that kids thought I had not one, but two, glass eyes. Michelle doesn't think Barack's bullying is funny, and that's why she's America's favorite first lady.
