How To Get Banned From The Internet

How To Get Banned From The Internet


There are places on the World Wide Web where you definitely should not go. This is one of them.

Wikipedia describes Banhammer as “a satirical term for the power wielded by an administrator to ban or block users of internet forums, wikis, online games, or other internet media."

The internet's beloved (hated) Urban Dictionary tells us that Banhammer is “a symbol of violence and imaginary power over others, used by peniley-challenged jerks, at websites, to make themselves feel better about being so inadequate, and unliked by anybody."

In reality you don’t know what the Banhammer feels like until you meet it. It smacks hard and has an ugly smirk on its face. Users of Reddit, Voat, 4chan, and other sites for people without a lives will know what I am talking about.

But what if I were to tell you that there exists a community whose sole purpose is to Banhammer people? What if I were to tell you that users go online to get Banhammer and enjoy it? Well, we are browsing the net, so we know that anything can happen.

Add to that—what is a “Soapbox” or “Soap Box?" It’s a box you stand on when you give a speech. How does it combine with Banhammer? Easy. is a community built on bans, for bans, by bans and does that very thing – bans. The description of the community reads:

Post anything on your mind, we DGAF. Bans are earned, or aren't. We don't care. But you will eventually be banned for an indiscriminate amount of time. These times can be from a few minutes, or permahammer in special cases.

I’ve been there for a while now and have over twenty submissions. The longest time I’ve been banned for? 24 hours. That’s not even close to what some people get.

Rumor has it – longest ban that happens here has been for 120 days!

But why would you want to get banned? What is the joy? Simple. You make a post. It can be obscene – most of them are. Or not. Of the top ten posts on /v/soapboxbanhammer, three are in no way offensive, the others are, and six of them use obscene language. We are on the Internet, remember? So, you make a post. And you get banned. You feel a reaction to what you said! You feel that you threw a rock at a big giant and he threw it back! You feel important! It’s something like getting arrested for doing graffiti - when the system breaks you, it means that you were worth breaking!

Also, the randomness adds to the fun. You might never get “caught"-- or you can get banned after your first post. This community is a great place to throw anything you have at a giant fan and see it fly around.

This is just one of the examples of why the Internet is a great place. The internet has place for everything, and if you can have a website dedicated to cat pics, why not have a page dedicated to over-abusing admin powers? And so, there it is, with over 600 users and growing. Long live the net.

I must say that /v/soapboxbanhammer is not the only place like this. There is also the newly created /r/soapboxbanhammer on Reddit (although it was created by mods from /v/ - who, as the story goes, banned themselves as a joke and then found out that they could not un-ban themselves and thus had to move to Reddit).

Also important – beware, in the real world there is a strong person wielding a Banhammar. Luckily for us, he spends most of his time protecting this world as one of the members of Th Avengers. Yay.

Cover Image Credit: The Red

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30 Things I'd Rather Be Than 'Pretty'

Because "pretty" is so overrated.

Nowadays, we put so much emphasis on our looks. We focus so much on the outside that we forget to really focus on what matters. I was inspired by a list that I found online of "Things I Would Rather Be Called Instead Of Pretty," so I made my own version. Here is a list of things that I would rather be than "pretty."

1. Captivating

I want one glance at me to completely steal your breath away.

2. Magnetic

I want people to feel drawn to me. I want something to be different about me that people recognize at first glance.

3. Raw

I want to be real. Vulnerable. Completely, genuinely myself.

4. Intoxicating

..and I want you addicted.

5. Humble

I want to recognize my abilities, but not be boastful or proud.

6. Exemplary

I want to stand out.

7. Loyal

I want to pride myself on sticking out the storm.

8. Fascinating

I want you to be hanging on every word I say.

9. Empathetic

I want to be able to feel your pain, so that I can help you heal.

10. Vivacious

I want to be the life of the party.

11. Reckless

I want to be crazy. Thrilling. Unpredictable. I want to keep you guessing, keep your heart pounding, and your blood rushing.

12. Philanthropic

I want to give.

13. Philosophical

I want to ask the tough questions that get you thinking about the purpose of our beating hearts.

14. Loving

When my name is spoken, I want my tenderness to come to mind.

15. Quaintrelle

I want my passion to ooze out of me.

16. Belesprit

I want to be quick. Witty. Always on my toes.

17. Conscientious

I want to always be thinking of others.

18. Passionate

...and I want people to know what my passions are.

19. Alluring

I want to be a woman who draws people in.

20. Kind

Simply put, I want to be pleasant and kind.

21. Selcouth

Even if you've known me your whole life, I want strange, yet marvelous. Rare and wondrous.

22. Pierian

From the way I move to the way I speak, I want to be poetic.

23. Esoteric

Do not mistake this. I do not want to be misunderstood. But rather I'd like to keep my circle small and close. I don't want to be an average, everyday person.

24. Authentic

I don't want anyone to ever question whether I am being genuine or telling the truth.

25. Novaturient

..about my own life. I never want to settle for good enough. Instead I always want to seek to make a positive change.

26. Observant

I want to take all of life in.

27. Peart

I want to be honestly in good spirits at all times.

28. Romantic

Sure, I want to be a little old school in this sense.

29. Elysian

I want to give you the same feeling that you get in paradise.

30. Curious

And I never want to stop searching for answers.
Cover Image Credit: Favim

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To The Generation That Might Not Care, A Green New Deal Is Crucial

Take care of our planet and our future.


The reality of climate change and method to address the issue has been a source of contention in the United States for far too long. While Republicans trail behind Democrats a great deal in the percentage who believe long-term, irreversible climate change is a real problem, an equally if not more important gap to acknowledge is that between generations.

A universally taught science concept in elementary school is the difference between weather and climate. Weather is the day-to-day condition of the atmosphere — rainy, sunny, etc. Climate is the weather of a particular geographic location over a long period of time. The weather in an area may be snowy on a particular January day but might overall have a warm climate (Trump has yet to learn this concept).

The gap between generational support for not only believing in the reality of climate change but if the government should take steps to prevent further harm on our planet is apparent. A few reasons that older generations may not support aggressive climate change policies are that many are not going to see the lasting impact of their harmful actions, may not want to acknowledge that their way of life for a majority of their life was detrimental to the environment, or that they simply do not think it is the government's role to further regulate current practices and lifestyles in the name of the environment (an argument supported by many conservatives).

Data For Progress

The "Green New Deal," proposed earlier this month by Rep. Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez and Sen. Edward Markey is mainly a list of ideas and goals rather than a carefully laid-out plan, though aims to eliminate greenhouse emissions through the creation of millions of jobs in the renewable energy industry, moving toward public ownership (a major source of disagreement among Republicans and Democrats), and much more. This plan is a comprehensive overview of many sources of environmental degradation that our nation has not addressed, despite the majority of the nation believing the climate change is a real issue.

There will undoubtedly be a major shift in the operations of many companies due to aggressive climate change policies, which could have been avoided at a drastic level if our nation had chosen to make climate change prevention a priority. Unfortunately, according to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, global temperatures will rise to an irreversible level in 12 years if the United States and other countries that greatly contribute to rising temperatures do not take action. A sense of urgency has been lacking for far too long is crucial.

Written into the recently proposed Green New Deal is a section detailing how it will attempt to remedy the inequality of those most directly impacted by climate change. Vulnerable communities, particularly communities of color, are not seeing an equitable distribution in disaster funding to prevent damage inflicted by the increasing frequency and intensity of natural disasters that have resulted as an increase in rising global temperatures — Which, regardless of your age, should be a glaring flaw in our current system.

I personally doubt that the entirety of the recently proposed Green New Deal will be enacted, however, I believe that anyone who values the quality of human life, clean air, clean water, food sources, for not just those in the United States, but around the world, should be supportive of a Green New Deal.

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