That's right. They owe you nothing more than the music they play for you.
I know what you're thinking: "but, their music saved my life."
Trust me, I get that. All Time Low, Waterparks and so many other bands have helped me in times where I felt alone and I felt like I had nobody, and when I met them, I wanted nothing more than to tell them how much they've helped me through those things.
But I didn't.
Often times, myself included, we forget that band members are real people with real feelings, just like us.
They fight with their friends and family, they date, they break up, they go through anxiety, depression, other mental illnesses. For the most part, it's private. You have no idea that they're going through something unless they make it public.
So many of them are so good at putting on a front and acting happy for the cameras or for the fans because they want them to have a good time.
But in private, we have no idea what's going on in their lives.
They can't get too involved in our personal lives because it may affect them negatively. It can put them in bad places mentally and may end up doing harm that wasn't needed.
If you want to tell a band member that they stopped you from self-harming or anything of that sensitive nature, try phrasing it a little differently.
Instead of coming right out and saying it, you could say something along the lines of "you helped me quit some bad habits," which sounds a little better.
Please do not get offended when they seem to "not react" the way they expect them to. Most of the time, they won't tell you they're proud of you, they won't tell you to keep fighting or they won't want to see your scars, mostly because they're real humans, too, and they may not want to see it or know how to react to hearing it.
Remember that they do not owe us meet and greets, photos, interviews, social media interactions or anything extra that they do for us.
The only thing they owe us is the music they put out for us to listen to.
None of these extra perks are required to be in a band. They do these things because they are kind-hearted people.
So please, next time you approach a band member about a sensitive topic, remember that they, too, have feelings and may not know how to react.
Don't blame them if their reaction isn't what you hoped it would be, because they struggle, too.
We don't know what goes on behind closed doors.