It's almost Halloween, which means it's finally time to a) watch Hocus Pocus at least seven times, b) discuss what Marnie Cromwell's been up to lately, and c) decide on a Halloween costume.

I just hope this list finds you before those eyeliner whiskers do.

Here are some costumes that suck!

Image Credit: Paramount Pictures

1. Sexy Pow Wow Indian"

Image Credit: HalloweenCostumes.com

2. "Hey Amigo Mexican"

Image Credit: Party City

3. "Call Me Caitlyn"

Image Credit: Wholesale Halloween/Spirit Halloween

4. "Adult Pleasing Geisha"

Image Credit: Party City

5. "Seductive Soldier"

Image Credit: Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

6. A Homeless Person

Image Credit: Erin Malone, Pinterest

7. "Most Wanted"

Image Credit: Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

8. "Officer Rita Dem Rights Police"

Image Credit: Party City

9. "Disco Diva"

Image Credit: Party Cit

10. "Witchy Witch"

Image Credit: Party City

11. "Playtime Bunny"

Image Credit: Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.

12. "Bumble Beauty"

13. "Sexy Lumber Jackie"

Image Credit: Sexy Lingerie Collection

14. "Wenda: Where's Waldo"

Image Credit: Spirit Halloween

15. "Hospital Honey"

Image Credit: Party City

16. A Sexy Cat

Image Credit: Pinterest

17. A Football Player

Image Credit: Pinterest

18. "Sexy School Girl"

Image Credit: BuyCostumes.com

19. A Minion

Image Credit: Party City

20. "Frisky French Maid"

Image Credit: Spirit Halloween

21. "Harley Quinn"

Image Credit: Party City

22. Hooters Girl

Image Credit: Pinterest

23. A Banana

Image Credit: HalloweenCostumes.com

Just because I linked these costumes to places you might be able to find them, doesn't mean you should go looking. I mean, Wal-Mart will totally take your money in exchange for some culturally-appropriated, faux-suede fringe dress.

Image Credit: Walt Disney Pictures

But honey, authentic Native American beadwork would put that sad sack to shame. Don't embarrass yourself.