Bacon is highly overrated. I don't like the taste of it, and my stomach doesn't like it either. I cut most pork and beef out of my life years ago, so now the only bacon I eat is turkey bacon (and the occasional sweet black pepper bacon sandwich from Dunkin Donuts because YUM!) Other than that, bacon is barely a part of my life while you consider it the holy grail of breakfast foods.

The only thing that is remotely iconic about bacon is Ron Swanson. I just hope that one day, my significant other loves me just as much as Ron Swanson loves bacon.


What do you have to be prepared about? You just have to quite literally prepare it by cooking it.

Can you say you have your favorite food hidden around your workspace?

Yes?

No?

Even if you do, you aren't up to Ron Swanson standards.

If you are obsessed with bacon, you may not want to keep reading, because I'm here to tell you how much it sucks.

It's greasy, smelly, weirdly seasoned, cooked poorly, and the oil when you cook it always pops up and burns you. Also, it's added to LITERALLY everything. Do we really need that many bacon-flavored foods? After all, we already have bacon itself...

Whether it's bacon flavored gum, bacon lollipops, bacon ice cream, bacon croutons, bacon mayonnaise, bacon alcohol, bacon potato chips, bacon Ritz crackers, and literally every brand of cat and dog food has a bacon flavor.

Please, just take bubblegum flavored gum, vanilla ice cream, BBQ chips, and keep your bacon obsession away from me.