It's common to question your path in life. We all do our best to have plans and to map everything out according to our ambitions and goals, but it's important to account for the inevitable. For example, you might wake up one day and find your dreams burning in the violent fire of reality - what do we do at this point? Worry not! I've provided a strong list of great career back-ups for you to keep in your back pocket just in case.
A Blurb Writer for Novels
What part of every book do you remember the most? That’s right, the back cover! And just because it’s the only part of the book that you read doesn’t make it any less important. There are thousands of authors around the world publishing masterpieces, but a book can only go so far without a the sneak peek blurb on the inside flap (or without a picture of a fantasy boy teen with an average every day girl teen on the front cover entangled in a loving embrace). There are very few jobs I can think of that are more important than this.
3 o Clock News Anchor (weekdays)
This job is low maintenance, but with a dash of broadcasting pizazz. While it's true no one will probably ever see you because normal people with real jobs aren't watching the news at 3:00 pm, the qualifications would be low, and you could still tell everyone at the bar that you "work in TV".
A Mail-Mans Mail Man
It's an age-old conundrum - who delivers the mail man's mail? Well, now you can say that YOU do! I don’t really have any other reason as to why this should be on your list of back-ups, but you'd get to drive one of those cool looking white box mail trucks, which sounds fun. If the postal industry hasn't completely gone under by the time you graduate, I'd highly recommend looking into this career!
A Bridge Toll Troll
Are you someone who likes riddles and spare change? Move under your local city bridge and explore a career as a Toll Troll! Required skills include: not showering, being able to weather the elements, wearing a constant grimace, blocking cars that answer the riddle wrong and refuse to pay your toll, etc.
A Tree In A Broadway Production
This one goes out to those who might have had a theater career path that didn't pan out so well. Sure, maybe you aren't the next "Sandra Dee" or "Jean Val Jean", but you know what every solid Broadway production ALWAYS needs? A good, reliable tree. Practice your "gentle, swaying branch" arms and go get back out there, kid!
The One Dentist out of 5 that doesn't recommend Crest Toothpaste
This opportunity is one for those who are looking for a little contradiction in their lives. Conformity is boring, and the people love a little drama mixed in with their hygiene product market information! Give the people what they want and consider this career during your next midlife crisis!
Your Mom
Did you original career fail but you still want to challenge yourself? Try being your own mom in for size (what a sentence!). Make your own meals, check on yourself at least once a week, embarrass yourself in front of all the cool kids at school, accidently shrink some of your own clothes, go wild! There truly is no harder back-up career than this!
The "Before" model for a plastic surgery company
Have a body part that you know wouldn't be deemed socially acceptable by high-class Hollywood? Maybe being a "before" model is the gig for you! Sometimes it's important to remember that your weaknesses can be your biggest strengths, and honestly, the pretty people need someone who's willing to compliment that stellar silicone. Stop moping today and become a model (as far as everyone else is concerned).
Writer with permanent writer's block
This career is especially great for those who have a passion for doing nothing. That’s it, really.
Celebrity Lint Roller
Have you ever wondered what it would be like to follow stars like Nicki Minaj and Rihanna around all day with sticky paper, ensuring their frocks are fur and fuzzy free? I know, we all have. I'm not entirely sure what would qualify someone for a job like this; however, I'm sure the application process is competitive and lengthy, so make sure you practice your rolling skills prior to pursuit.
