As summer draws to a close, college students everywhere are sent into a frenzy preparing themselves for a new school year. Whether you're a dorm-bound freshman trying to coordinate with an unwilling roommate or a senior trying to scrape by with the bare minimum in an apartment, you will most likely need to do some shopping. What better place to accomplish such a task than the infamous Walmart? Anyone who has set foot in a Walmart during back-to-school season knows all too well how unpleasant it is, but one single consolation draws us in: the "always low prices…always." While I am a dedicated Target shopper, I like a good deal as much as the next financially struggling college student. Therefore, I find myself at Walmart, year after year, alongside others who are equally miserable, and a slew of obnoxious characters. The adventure usually follows a predictable pattern.
The minute you enter the superstore's parking lot, your tension rises to an unhealthy level. You have to watch for small, unsupervised children running every which way, and moms on a mission darting around in minivans. Once you survive the parking lot, you head into the store with a migraine already forming. Due to how busy it is, the cart selection is low, and you get stuck with one that has a broken wheel. You are forced to walk on an angle, veering to one side. The wheel also makes a squeaking sound, which accompanies you throughout the duration of your trip.
The shopping begins in the "home and furniture" department, where you try to find the cheapest, and therefore the most unaesthetic items to adorn your living space. While you come prepared with a detailed list of everything you need, the aisle lingerers literally stand in your way. These are the people who try to decide what they need while standing in the middle of the aisle, with their cart strategically placed to take up as much space as possible, preventing any travel around it. While I empathize with the indecisive, I do not appreciate those who forget that there are actually other people in the store. Walmart also seems to think that randomly piling items in the middle of the aisles counts as creating a display, adding to the congestion and making navigation nearly impossible.
Next you hit the school supplies department, ready to stock up on pens and spiral notebooks for all of the notes you probably won't take. You immediately regret this decision, as upon arriving in the aisle, you are subjected to children flinging objects in every direction. Unfortunately, college students are not the only ones returning to school. Kids search desperately for a unique treasure, such as a glitter-encrusted folder featuring a cat wearing a tiara. Mothers push you aside as they try (and fail) to keep track of their offspring. Nothing is in its proper bin, causing you a great deal of stress. You give up on the school supplies and will later blame your inability to complete homework on Walmart.
One somewhat safe section is "home essentials," where you stock up on everything labeled with Walmart's signature brand. In doing this, you save money and probably skimp on quality. You battle other customers for the last package of Great Value napkins, and pick through the wide array of scented dish soap.
Defeated, you make your way to the front of the store, where apparently only two registers are open for check out. The person in front of you in line is taking advantage of Walmart's price-matching policy, whipping out ads from other stores like it's her job. She also digs through her seemingly bottomless purse to gather her coupon collection. Finally, it's your turn, and after a register malfunction sets you back five minutes, you're running out to your car, broken cart in tow.
Because you will inevitably be making a trip to Walmart during this special back-to-school season, I wish you luck. Try to ignore the frustrations and keep in mind the money you're saving. Happy shopping!
