I figure most everyone has, or had, at least one person in their lives that’s dead or dying. When you’re faced with the unfortunate yet inevitable mortality that we all suffer from there are things you are forced to think about. The one that has perplexed me for most my life is heaven. I was raised Catholic for the majority of my life. I attended church, made my communion and confirmation, and was generally a good Christian boy in front of closed doors.

Along with bible study classes came the obvious heaven and hell discussion. The more that religion was forced on me the more I wanted to find reasons to argue about it. I’d probably still be practicing the word of God had I not been force fed them letter by letter. A major gripe I developed was with the logistics of everything. Why, in the face of a literal and logical world, should I believe in ideas that held no sense in reality? The answer, I soon learned, was faith.

Faith is probably one of the most powerful tools that human beings have created. Here you have a system wherein a theory is safeguarded not only from proof and evidence, but also from the process of attempting to search for either. To question the beliefs of the religious is sacrilegious; how dare you defy the word of the lord.

Most people who know me know that I’ve a minor obsession with being a father some day. Accordingly, I stress daily about the ins and outs of the struggles I’ll have to face once that time comes. The matter of circumcision, marrying someone very religious, and how to teach my child all come to mind.

When it comes to heaven I have a moral dilemma. I may not raise a religious child but I still want them to enjoy Christmas the way I did. So logically I’ll tell the common white lie about Santa (sorry if I spoiled that for the uninformed). I grew up believing that, no matter what, I’d be reunited with my loved ones in the kingdom of God.

It’s hard to say to what extent this ideal positively impacted my life or if it even did at all. I’m sure it gave me much peace of mind until I became a god rejecting heathen. If I’m willing to consider needlessly circumcising a son of mine for him to start off life as normally as possible, and practice Christmas traditions, then shouldn’t I have no problem with the concept of heaven being something he is taught?

This is where the situation gets muddled for me. My only concern is in giving my child the best possible life they can have in the circumstances provided. But who’s to say if one way is better than the other? It’s near impossible to quantify the results between people who were raised to believe in heaven and those who weren’t.

And if it were proven that 51% of people raised with teachings about heaven ended up better off would that sway me to give in? As much as I’m concerned with the best situation for my child I’m not sure that I could go through with it. I think the best course of action is to make sure they are exposed to all that the world has to offer and raise them to be inquisitive and make their own decisions. May the chips fall where they lie. It’s hard to say if there even is a right answer to this but the thing I know for sure is that no matter what that nine pound raisin says or does I’m going to love the shit out of it and do my best to provide for it. So at least I know I’ll have done all I can.