Whenever a friend introduces me to someone new, they always describe me as “the chill guy.” If my high school had a superlative for least stressed student, it’d be me, and even if it wasn’t, I wouldn’t care.

One of the few things that ignites passion in me is when people ask me how I manage to avoid so much stress. However, they lose interest in my advice halfway through my explanation. So, for all of you who didn’t listen the first time and anyone else interested in my secret, here are some cardinal rules for avoiding stress:

Be less competitive (or not competitive at all).

It really isn’t as hard as you think. You don’t have to be ‘number one,’ and there can only be so many ‘number ones’ out there; there are more important things in life than worrying about being better than someone else.

Talk to older, more experienced people.

Older people are great models for low stress, partially because they have learned how to deal with it, and they've realized some of it is not necessary. They have even better advice to give you than me. As long as you haven’t moved to a retirement home or used a chairlift when you can manage stairs, spend as much time with the elderly as you can.

You don’t have to be friends with everybody.

I know she was the best finger painter in your kindergarten class and that skill may become useful for you sometime in the future, but if she doesn't care about your opinion or refuses to give up her crown as drama queen, unfollow her, unfriend her and stop talking to her. You don’t have to confront someone causing you stress to get them to stop, just avoid them. Sometimes honesty is the best medicine, so if they ask you why you won’t talk to them anymore, tell them the truth. If they get upset, cut the tie. Believe it or not, you control who you choose to be friends with, and only .0001 percent of all the friendships you make during your lifetime will last until one of you dies.

Be willing to admit you have limits, and be okay with potentially failing.

Keep goals if you want, but don’t let your happiness depend on whether or not you achieve those goals. Never stop trying, but never be afraid to fail. One of the biggest problems I have with our culture is the fear attached to failing. So many people are too scared of failing to try hard or to try something new. However, some people are too afraid of becoming a failure to tell themselves when they’re taking on too much. Just be kind and do your best, but don’t be afraid of your best not being enough for everything you try.

Following these four basic rules should lighten your load a bit, but don’t be deterred if you feel this list doesn’t help you. Schedule an appointment with a counselor, confide in your friends and family, or find even more people to talk to. There’s help available for everyone.