You look back, and they were all there. Every lie, every secret, every bit of the emotional toll the relationship took on you. And now you're thinking, how did I miss it all before?
They say love is blind, but I always thought that meant physical appearances. But no, love is BLIND. As in, we chose to ignore the obvious when we're "in love." It's tunnel vision. It's seeing only what you want to see. It's friends pulling you aside to tell you what he's doing to you because they can see it so clearly from the outside. But you ignore that too. And now you beat yourself up over it. I know I still do.
Matt Madd
He was my high school boyfriend.
He was "The One."
He cheated on me. In every sense of the word. Multiple times. With best friends, with girls from school, with girls he messaged online. But he loved me. Oh, he loved me. He loved me, so he couldn't possibly have done those things.
Even as you laid on his chest and listened to his thundering heartbeat as he swore to you that there was nothing going on. That those messages you found were nothing. Meant nothing. You believed him.
You were crazy for thinking those things, for accusing him. How could you think that of someone who loved you SO much?
But you knew. Deep down.
You knew all along.
The red flags, they were all there. You knew they were. But you didn't leave. You chose to see the good. You were blind.
And now here you are. Brokenhearted. Feeling so... stupid.
Because you chose him. You chose to believe him. Over what your friends said, over what those other girls said, over that feeling deep down in your gut.
When he would snoop through your phone when you left the room. When he forced you to give him the passwords to your accounts. When he would get mad if you didn't post about how happy you were with him. When he blamed you for your depression and complained that you spent too much time in bed.
The manipulation, the emotional abuse. The physical abuse. When you said no and he did it anyway.
You ignored it. You allowed it.
Daniel Lee
But then you left.
Or maybe, he left. And you broke away from his grasp.
It's okay that you ignored the red flags. It's okay that you let someone close to your heart, who so obviously didn't deserve it. Because now you know. And that heartbreak-- that pain doesn't go away. But you will never be the girl who ignores the red flags ever again.
Now there's a new girl. Who he loves so much. They look so happy. They must be happy. He would never cheat on her.
But behind the posts and the pictures, there's another girl who's ignoring the red flags in her relationship, too.
