10 Regrets Me, You, And Your Nemesis All Have

10 Regrets Me, You, And Your Nemesis All Have

You gotta know your regrets to avoid making them again

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"Brooke, you're smart and well-spoken and I'm not really worried about you getting a job after college," my mother assured me one Sunday afternoon. I had just expressed to her my regret for not applying to an internship or landing a job somewhat related to my a career related to writing. I admit, I wasn't really listening to her. I was gloomy sitting on a couch, staring at my computer screen at my emails.

I know for a fact I have not be the only person to regret not doing something. The main reason I know this is because everyone carries around some sort of regret with them, which can feel like a heavy backpack with no shoulder pads in the straps.

I want to live more courageously, healthily, and more hopefully. Therefore, I looked to the people who know the most about living for advice - older people who have lived long lives.

Although I waded through a lot of regrets on the internet, I picked out my favorites below. Below are the top 10 regrets you have, but don't want to:

1. I wish I had been more honest with myself

Whether it is about deciding that I would like to re-gift that candle Grandma got me or letting out my pent-up anger in healthy ways (like journalling or screaming into my pillow) - it's all about being honest.

If I'm not honest with myself, then I'm just avoiding the real problems and guess what? They never really go away. They'll just get bigger (like that spot of mold on your loaf of bread) until you face the truth (just throw out the bread, honey).

2. I wish I had taken care of myself more

Ah, the good ole "self-care" idea. I completely agree, though. I wish I had taken care of my body more in the past. For example, I would often stay up reading past 2AM just for fun... but my body didn't think it was fun the next school day when I was so groggy that I did not pay attention in my AP classes.

But it could go beyond just establishing a healthy sleeping schedule. This regret also covers the arena of setting up good personal boundaries for alone time, or fun time outside of the house with comedic friends.

3. I wish I had told __________ how I actually felt

When I read this regret, I laughed out loud. At first, I only thought this could apply to hidden, romantic longings to be with someone else. However, this regret could be about telling a family member how they have hurt you, or a teacher how much they impacted your life and future career. This is a pretty deep regret, when you think about it.

4. I wish I had worked less

This regret is contingent. I imagine a workaholic wrote this one. Sometimes, you just have to work because you have to get food on the table for yourselves, that puppy you adopted from the Humane Society, and your rowdy kids and spouse. But if you feel as if you can take a break from work (a half-day, a vacation, etc.) in order to get that much needed R&R, then by all means, take a breather. Don't work yourself to death all for a paycheck.

5. I wish I had cared less about what other people thought of me

I care what people think about me a lot. One of my friends advised me to be more careful while walking around campus by taking out my earbuds. One, the campus is not a dangerous location during the daytime, which is when I walk those concrete sidewalks.

Two, music and talks are the way I get motivated, stay energized, have fun, and learn something new. I regret the month of silence I endured by listening to my friend.

Don't worry, I'm back to listening to what I want when I walk, now, and it's a glorious feeling. (But I also make sure to be more aware of my surroundings, because I know my friend makes a good point about safety concerns.)

6. I wish I had lived more in the moment

My mom's motto is "Be where your feet are."

That's an especially hard feat for me to accomplish when, being an avid reader and story-lover, I've trained my mind to be able to imagine me anywhere BUT where I am. Needless to say, I can live in the moment, but I can also space out quite easily. I'm working on this problem currently because I don't want more movie nights where my living room is full of friends and I'm thinking about the loneliness post-college life might bring me when I move home.

7. I wish I hadn't worried so much

As the article titled "What Do People Regret the Most Before They Die?" stated eloquently,

If you've ever kept a diary and looked back, you'll probably wonder why you ever got so worked up over X.


Please check out the full article though, since all of my favorite regrets are from this source (and there are more you probably will identify with).

8. I wish I'd done more for other people

I have nothing to elaborate on with this one. I just wish I was more loving in general.

9. I wish I hadn't taken myself so seriously

I remember vividly not hanging out with friends in high school sometimes because I was dead-set on finishing a 200 page novel I was writing about a high school drama. I also remember vividly getting worked up about how perfect I wanted the Jack Frost 5K Marathon I was organizing to go. My goodness, both of those activities were important, but I didn't need to be so frowny face serious about getting it all right.

10. I wish I had been more faithful

You won't find this on the website that inspired most of this article. I personally wish I was more faithful. God is faithful in making sure the Earth keeps spinning in its orbit around the sun everyday. God is faithful in giving me what I need - not what I want. God is faithful in forgiving me and showing me how much He loves me, no matter how much I despise being obedient and hopeful in Him at the moment. It actually astonishes me how faithless I allow myself to be sometimes. I'm currently (and will forever be) working hard to make being faithful a more steady part of my life.

So there you have it.

I just listed out some big ole top 10 regrets I think we all have. Was I right? Was I wrong? Did you enjoy my commentary about them? Let me know what you think and I hope you can avoid these regrets by being your authentic selves, being a little bolder, and being a little more disciplined when chasing after your aspirations.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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For Camille, With Love

To my godmother, my second mom, my rooted confidence, my support

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First grade, March. It was my first birthday without my mom. You through a huge party for me, a sleepover with friends from school. It included dress up games and making pizza and Disney trivia. You, along with help from my grandma, threw me the best birthday party a 7-year-old could possibly want.

During elementary school, I carpooled with you and a few of the neighborhood kids. I was always the last one to be dropped off, sometimes you would sneak a donut for me. Living next door to you was a blessing. You helped me with everything. In second grade, you helped me rehearse lines for history day so I could get extra credit. In 4th grade, you helped me build my California mission.

You and your sister came out to my 6th grade "graduation". You bought me balloons and made me feel as if moving onto middle school was the coolest thing in the entire world.

While you moved away from next door, you were a constant in my life. Going to Ruby's Diner for my birthday, seeing movies at the Irvine Spectrum and just hanging out, I saw you all the time. During these times, you told me about all of the silly things you did with my mom and dad, how my mom was your best friend. I couldn't have had a greater godmother.

In middle school, you pushed me to do my best and to enroll in honors. You helped me through puberty and the awkward stages of being a woman.

Every single time I saw you, it would light up my entire day, my week. You were more than my godmother, you were my second mom. You understood things that my grandma didn't.

When you married John, you included me in your wedding. I still have that picture of you, Jessica, Aaron and myself on my wall at college. I was so happy for you.

Freshmen year of high school, you told me to do my best. I did my best because of you. When my grandma passed away that year, your shoulder was the one I wanted to cry on.

You were there when I needed to escape home. You understood me when I thought no one would. You helped me learn to drive, letting me drive all the way from San Clemente to Orange.

When I was applying to colleges, you encouraged me to spread my wings and fly. You told me I should explore, get out of California. I wanted to study in London, you told me to do it. That's why, when I study abroad this Spring in London, I will do it for you.

When I had gotten into UWT, you told me to go there. I did and here I am, succeeding and living my best in Tacoma. I do it for you, because of you.

When I graduated high school and I was able to deliver a speech during our baccalaureate, you cheered me on. You recorded it for me, so I could show people who weren't able to make it to the ceremony. You were one of the few people able to come to my actual graduation. You helped me celebrate the accomplishments and awards from my hard work.

When your cancer came back, I was so worried. I was afraid for you, I was afraid of what I would do without the support you had always given me. When I was in Rome, I went to the Vatican and had gotten a Cross with a purple gem in the middle blessed by the Pope to help you with your treatments. It was something from me and a little bit of my mom in the necklace, the gem.

Now, sitting so far from you away at college just like you wanted me to. I miss you. I wish I was there to say goodbye.

I'll travel the world for you, write lots of stories and books for you, I will live life to the fullest for you.

You are another angel taken too early in life. Please say hello to my parents and grandma in Heaven for me.

Lots of love,

Haiden

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