Alright so I love avocado toast as much as the next person -- my favorite recipe is a thinly sliced avocado over buttered rye with diced tomatoes, gorgonzola, lime juice, and chives -- but there is no way in hell that I would tell that to anyone outside of my own generation for one reason and one reason alone: The Big M&M (Millennial Mockery).

Let me explain.

These slightly burnt pieces of bread with a smothering of rich green spread has become the unfortunate staple for the generation that is generally referred to as "Millennials," and is stereotyped as lazy, entitled narcissists (according to Time Magazine, of course). The most common understanding of older generations is that individuals born between the years of 1981 and 1996 are just the WORST™. Interestingly enough, many people who are still referred to as millennials fall after this unfortunate 15 year gap, yet the same damaging stereotypes are applied to them.

And here I thought that being born in 1997 would save me…

So let's just look at the word "Millennial" as a bit more of what is now a mildly offensive label for "those young whippersnappers on their i-whozzamawhatsits and their lack of regard for killing the economy and the environment even though it was mostly our fault in the first place--" (See why I called it mildly offensive?)

You may have sensed a slight amount of passive aggression there. Well-spotted.

Honestly, I think it's completely justified to have some small amount of annoyance at a generation who was the original "ME" generation, even though that seems to have been a title they re-gifted to us even though we were definitely clear that no presents were allowed at this party.

Typical older generations.

As an M&M sufferer, I would like to just say a few things about how we, apparently, can't seem to be seen as a generation worthy of carrying on the line of people who thought that smoking was good for you. (Now, I'm not saying that coffee-enemas are all they're chalked up to be, but smoking? Really??)

First of all, we're not "LAZY." According to CEB, a consulting firm, their poll stated that Millennials are incredibly competitive (59%) in comparison to other generations (48%). HAH, so how do you like THOSE numbers?!

And another thing: we are not financially illiterate. The economy and education system is just massively screwed up! In fact, 48% of Millennials haven't taken a single vacation day in the past year because of vacation-shaming in the workplace and simply due to the fact that they need the money to pay off their college loans. According to Forbes, "At the present time, the average American household with student debt owes about $49,000. Graduates in their twenties spend more than $350 per month, on average, on student loan payments and interest. Since the average "entry-level" job was worth about $50,000 a year in 2016 for new graduates, "truly average" college grads in America can expect to see their earnings garnished by between eight and 10% for roughly ten to twelve years after they graduate." Oh, and since college is an absolute "must" in the current job market, we're all screwed! Woo!!

So yes, excuse me if I want to treat myself and spend $6 on a piece of toast. I think I've earned it at an emotional level.

When I say that "avocado toast has screwed us all," I mean that the way it has become a staple of our generation's alleged lack of work ethic and financial responsibility in the eyes of the media and older generation has completely screwed us all. As we know from some...semi-recent events...if something brightly colored and marketable comes into the foreground, the media will latch onto it and make it the mascot for the annoying art of "stereotyping," which in this case meant the avocado toast, the innocent bystander, became the face of financial irresponsibility.

Oh avocado toast, if only you weren't so beautifully excessive…

I'm not recommending that we stop doing what makes us happy, but it might be smart to cool it down for a while: do we really want to give them any more ammunition?