When many people see a special needs child acting up in public, they can’t help but just stare or criticize the mother for not having a grip on their child. I've been raised in the disability community, so I have a firm understanding as to why special needs children often have trouble in public. It's sensory sensitivity, which means that their senses are often hyped, which causes them to be very sensitive to what's going on around them.

Often times, loud and crowded places are very overwhelming, hence why the child may get overwhelmed and throw a fit. I've experienced these scenarios before, but never this reaction from a stranger passing by. The rudest comment I’ve ever heard was out in public one day. I was at the mall and saw a mother trying to calm down her child, who had autism. A stranger nearby had blurted out to her friend, “If they can’t behave in public why even bring them? What a shame.”

What a shame that so many don’t understand Autism, or disability in general.

I know many see it as a burden, as a never-ending problem, as a curse. So many don’t understand that behind the tantrums and fits are loving, playful children.

In my own experience, having an autistic sister with spina bifida has been nothing but a blessing. So many people go out in public and only judge what they see. They don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors. They don’t know that every day after school, my little sister comes home and asks for cuddles and butterfly kisses. They don’t know that my little sister loves to play her bongos and first act grand piano. They don’t know that she loves to swim and play in the water.

Our household is full of more laughs and smiles than not. Of course, she throws fits and gets upset. There are nights when my step-mother will be up until 2 a.m. with her trying to get her to calm down and sleep. There are times when, if we go to a restaurant and it gets too overwhelming for her, she will throw a fit and we have to leave.

Everyone struggles, and everyone has their fights. So, to the woman in the mall, Autism is not a curse, it’s not a fight, and it’s not a shame. Autism does not define someone for who they are. A fit in the middle of the public place, like with any other child, is not a reason to keep your child locked away at home. The fit in the middle of the mall is only a small fraction of the daily life that one faces. I promise you, there’s much, much more than a disability and a fit. There are laughs, hugs, kisses, cuddles, and playtime. Most of all--there’s a child.