To The Guy Who Had The Audacity To Tell The Truth

To The Guy Who Had The Audacity To Tell Me The Truth

"Thank you" will never be enough.

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To the guy who had the audacity to tell me the truth: thank you. Granted, I invited you to tell me exactly how you saw me and told you to be 100% honest with me. I asked you to give me your perspective, and you did. I said, "I need a guy's perspective on this," and you took the valuable time out of your day to sit down with me. I had had a difficult week and was dealing with a lot of inner turmoil. I needed the truth spoken into me from someone I respect, and that person was you. You were under no obligation to tell me what I need to work on and where my character is weak, but you did and that was (and still is) so important to me.

For the longest time, I was so sure of myself, so sure I had it right, so sure of the way I saw things. But you turned my surety on its head. You had the audacity to tell me that you think. You tore me apart in the most constructive way possible. Thank you for being a true friend and for bringing me to reality. I wish more friends could have the honesty that you have. You're a true inspiration for what it means to be a good friend.

To the people reading this, I suggest you surround yourself with friends who will not let you go down a destructive path. We all need friends who will grab our hands and tell us, "Don't do this!" We need friends who will urge us to do what is right, even when we don't want to. Those are the people that will always be there for you – the people that will for sure stick around when the going gets tough.

Don't just be the type of person who will take and never give. True friendship is a two-way street. You have to give more than you take. Always be willing to give more. This isn't to say that you should stay in an abusive friendship. For example, if your friend always says, "I'll pay you back," but never does, stop paying for that friend. We all need to suffer the consequences in order to learn hard lessons.

To the guy who had the audacity to tell me the truth: thank you. Thank you for taking a chance. I know a lot of people who say, "Be honest with me," but in reality, they just want to hear good things. They don't want to be told what's wrong with them and how to go about fixing it. We want to better ourselves and work on our imperfections, but we want it to happen magically. No one really wants to put forth the effort to change. Why? Because it's hard. But guess what? It's worth it and it's part of being human. So, thank you. Thank you for pointing out just a few of my many flaws that I can start working on in order to be a better person. I hope to someday help you as much as you've helped me. Keep having the audacity to tell the truth.

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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Finding Your Niche In College Starts With Finding You

Attempting to be someone you are not for the sake of having company only hurts you in the long run.

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Transitioning to college is hard enough, but trying to find a place where you feel "at home" can make this time even more stressful. Here are some tips on how to find that place/group of people that make you feel like sunshine.

I have always felt a little out of place wherever I went, but it wasn't until college that I realized that this feeling was so special and more people should capitalize on their differences rather than conforming to a certain mold. Transitioning to college and finding your place among so many people can be very overwhelming. The added stress of attempting to be someone you aren't for the sake of having company adds a whole other layer to this problem. The easiest thing for me to do in any situation like this is trying to make the setting a little smaller. One of the most obvious ways to do this on a college campus is by getting involved!

It is inevitable that within the first few weeks of the semester at any college, there will be an organization fair. This is a chance to scope out all that your school has to offer! Chances are there will be some type of group or club that lines up with your interests. Most college campuses have extracurricular opportunities ranging from social sororities and fraternities, professional ones, intermural sports, vocal groups, and so many more. You are more than likely going to find some type of organization that you can call home if you seek them out. Joining an organization is such an easy way to interact with people with similar interests. An interest can bring two completely different people together and create some beautiful friendships. It is situations like this where it is important to be your authentic self and mingle with those you share something with.

That being said, finding your place in college isn't always about being involved. Getting involved on campus is just one of the simplest ways to start. There are so many other opportunities on campus to meet people whether it be among others in your residence hall, people in your classes, or just people you find yourself stumbling upon! Finding people to spend your time with is easy; however, you should make it a point to surround yourself with people who bring you up.

Once you have a set group of people that you find yourself spending time with, it is important to pay attention to the way you feel when you're around them. If you find yourself feeling bad about yourself or get the impression that you need to change something in order to "fit in," chances are the people you're around are not the best for you or your self-esteem. It is important to surround yourself with people who allow you to feel comfortable in your own skin. That being said, you also want people who encourage you to make good decisions and help you reach your goals. People who encourage toxic behavior in your life might be fun in the short term, but in the grand scheme of things, you need to be surrounded by people with your best interest in mind. Essentially, surrounding yourself with people who influence you to be your best self is one of the best decisions you can make short and long term.

The key to all of this is being conscious of your own feelings and needs. Pay attention to who reaches out to you to hang out. Notice the ones who pay attention to you as you speak when it feels like no one is listening. More than anything, be conscious of who you're with and where you're at when you experience moments of pure happiness. Life is too short to waste your precious time on people who don't build you up. Wouldn't you rather spend your time with more moments of pure joy than self-hate? Start living for you!

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