As I sit here writing -- or, rather, typing -- I think back to two years ago when I was sick. Last week, I wrote a thank you to all of my former nurses, doctors and medical staff that helped in my recovery process, and even as I sit here I truly believe that my miraculous recovery is because of them. They all seem to think it was because of my attitude. And, finally, after two years I am starting to think that it was a little bit of both.
Getting sick was probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but when I look back and reflect it has turned into one of the best things to happen. Most people would never say that about getting Guillain-Barre, or a severe illness, but it is not the getting sick part that I am talking about. It's the fact that I learned so much about myself and gained so many relationships throughout the experience that are priceless.
The biggest thing I learned was that attitude really does mean everything. Of course, I had my bad days like we all do, and I still have my bad days when I think about getting sick. When I did have a bad day, it was a really bad day. I would lay in my bed and think to myself about how I just wanted my old life back, and that I just wanted to be normal again. But what really is normal, anyway? When I would have a good day, it was a great day. I would imagine all the things I was going to be able to do again. Like when I found out the doctors thought I would never dance again, I pictured myself dancing at the national competition. The doctors told me that I would need to take a year off from school and graduate a year later, but I did not want that to happen so I would just picture myself receiving my diploma next to my friends. Once I was finally able to start my rehab, all of these things that I had been imagining finally seemed like they would happen and not just be in my head. This then pushed me to want to work harder.
I was still in the hospital when school started, and it just so happened it was supposed to be my senior year. Getting to see all of my friends go to football games, have my last first day of high school and do all the fun things that seniors do really bummed me out. But then I realized that I would get to have my own last first day. I was tired of bumming myself out and feeling sorry for myself. I realized that when I thought like that all it did was make things worse. I knew that if I had continued to think like that I would never get to do any of the things that I had imagined. So although my attitude changed from positive negative on a regular basis, it still helped with my recovery. As much as I would I could say we can all we positive all the time, it just does not work like that because even now some days I have a negative attitude.
The next time you are being told that you can’t do something, or feeling sorry for yourself, just think about how that is not going to help the situation. Your attitude can literally change the outcome.
