Feeling like an outsider is something most of us have felt at one point or another in our lifetime. Whether or not this was intentional doesn't disregard the fact of feeling unimportant or ignored at this point in time. Coming into college as undergraduates, most people believe that everyone is forced to build and form connections with other students in college because you are all, for the most part, new. This, however, is found only to partly be true, students involved in sports or other school related activities are saved from jumping in headfirst to new friendships upon arrival because they are expected to set up a bond with coaches and fellow teammates throughout the summer allowing a level of convenience for these students in particular because they now have familiar faces surrounding them. This would cause these students to not feel or be seen as complete outsiders unlike their surrounding classmates who most likely were not fortunate enough to have a person or multiple people to cling to this new school year.
The rest of us probably went from pre-school to high school having to see the same kids our whole lives with the exception of some friends moving away or just transferring schools so we almost never truly had to meet any new people. Growing up in the same place and remaining in the same school district is what never allowed me to have to entertain the thought of talking to people I didn't know, I was never surrounded by an unrecognizable face even if I didn't know them personally. I always managed to keep a level of comfortability each school year, never having to face such a dramatic change like the one college brings. Meeting new people isn't something I look forward to nor does it interest me when I'm exposed to a new group of people, the thought of having to speak in front of a group of people I don’t know overwhelms me with a surge of many different emotions, to me this task is almost impossible. I've often been told by family members that I need to get out of this "shyness" but I am far from shy, I just do not know how to smoothly introduce myself to new people without having an atmosphere of awkwardness surrounding me.
My social awkwardness is pushing me further into feeling like an outsider more than anything and that is no ones fault but my own. Having recently learned this being socially awkward often puts me in the outsider position before my conscious mind even decides whether or not to speak to anyone. Yet because of my past few weeks in school I have soon became aware of other outsiders such as myself, and I've started to wonder what is so bad about keeping to yourself? Is it so wrong to want to be on the outside of all the hectic things around me? To want to keep an ounce of privacy to myself in a generation where everyone believes they must know everything about a person in order to feel close to them?
I know that I need to learn to network if I want to accomplish half of the goals I've set for myself and I understand that I do need to showcase an ounce of vulnerability to others if I want to go anywhere in life. Being an outsider in college has taught me to stop playing it safe, to allow myself to be that annoying person who speaks up in almost every class discussion, to be that person who oozes a sense of friendliness and most importantly to stop depending on others to make the first move. Being apart of the outsiders isn't as bad as you were born to think, I've learned a lot of life lessons by simply observing situations rather than being on the inside of them but now it is important that I learn new life lessons by allowing myself to not sit on the sidelines of things any longer. You see, college is a whole new chapter in your life and you owe it to yourself to progress instead of repeating your last chapter, remember that no one knows you here and its about time you act like it. Make a new identity for yourself, become the person you always wished to be.
This is how I plan on overcoming being an outsider and I encourage you all to try it too.
