You are standing in a party room of a fraternity talking to your friends, or maybe checking your phone. A random guy walks up to you and says something along the lines of “Hi" or “How's it going" or “Want to get a shot?" and you give your go-to response. You may not even let him finish his question before you respond with, “I have a boyfriend."
This is not okay. This is a scenario that happens all the time. Maybe you have been the girl to say this to someone else, or your friends use it as an excuse to get a guy to leave them alone; even though they are as single as it gets. I don't care whether or not you do have a boyfriend, you cannot use this phrase as a means of not talking to someone new. Maybe this guy did think you were cute, and actually wanted to talk to you. Maybe he thought you looked bored and wanted to make a new friend. Maybe he recognized you from a class. Or maybe he's trying to make new friends. God forbid that. You have a boyfriend.
Here is the thing: there is no reason to think that if he talks to you, he must want to have sex with you. Maybe he does. Those guys exist. But maybe he is a totally normal human being just trying to talk to you. All you did was tell him that because he's a guy, and you have a boyfriend, that you don't need any new friends. That is so incredibly rude. Not all men are trying to get you into bed. You joined the Greek system for a reason. And it's very likely that the reason was to make new friends. So why don't you let your walls down for a second to see what he has to say. Maybe he will be cool.
But you probably think he's being creepy because he said hi to you at a party. Making guy friends at every house you go to is a huge advantage. The networking opportunities, the party invites -- the list goes on. I am just confused as to why some people are forgetting that.
Most importanty, the phrase “I have a boyfriend" as a means to end a conversation is sexism in action. When you shut down an opportunity for a conversation for the sole reason that he is a man, you affirm the judgmental sorority girl stereotype, and send the message that if a person is not of any sexual or romantic use to you, then he is worthless to you. For women, the Greek community is a great way to become a leader and promote women's advancement. I can think of at least three different sorority's philanthropies right now that have to do with empowering and bettering women. We work so hard as a community of strong women to combat sexism, and when we distance ourselves from our male counterparts, we display and participate in the same sexism that we fight every day. Ladies, we can do better than that.
