I want to be limitless.

I want to be the superwoman that does it all, the student who gets amazing grades, the writer who takes the internet by storm, the popular person with a tight-knit group of friends, and the one who balances their schedule perfectly, all in a beautiful package.

I want to be the woman that blows people's minds because she is boundless, busy, and badass.

My entire life, I have always cared what people thought of me. When I was 5 years old, I tripped the popular girl in my Kindergarten class because I was jealous she was getting more attention than me.

In elementary school, I begged my mom to let me wear makeup and to shave my legs because I wanted to be the most beautiful girl in the 5th grade.

In middle school, I would skip lunch so I could be thinner. I couldn't see that I was funny, smart and pretty. All I saw was a girl who wasn't the most popular, wasn't the most skinny and wasn't at the top of my class.

In high school, I wanted desperately to fit in and be cool. As a freshman and sophomore, I fixed my hair and makeup every day and wore preppy, bright clothing. I couldn't leave the house without being dolled up. My confidence came from being the best dressed and the cutest girl in school. I viewed every day like a fashion competition.

Eventually, I gave up the preppy look and turned more into a water-raft-guide style. I wore Chacos, leggings, oversized t-shirts, and a vest every day. I started to wear less makeup and fix my hair less.

There is nothing wrong with getting "dressed up" for the day, as long as your confidence and identity isn't tied into it.

As I got to college, I really no longer gave a flying fuck about what other people thought of my outfits, and started dressing for me. I no longer wear makeup. My hair can be found in its natural, chaotic, curly state. Birkenstocks, mom jeans and t-shirts tucked in are my staple pieces.

I started to care less about my physical appearance and began focusing on the appearance of my entire life as a whole.

Suddenly, being a writer wasn't good enough. I wanted to be an editor.

Having a 3.6 GPA wasn't good enough and I kill myself striving for the perfect 4.0.

Not having a job seems too easy, so I got a job with a 70-hour work week while taking two classes.

Writing for the school news paper for credit wasn't enough; I had to get the cover spread in print.

I plan out every 15 minutes of my day and if I don't successfully do it in that allotted time, I have a breakdown.

I want to be limitless, but here is the kicker: I am not.

I have a tendency to try to be perfect, but in the midst, spread myself too thin, effectively destroying everything.

For the past four months, I have been pushing myself and striving so hard to achieve perfection that I have been driving myself into panic attacks. After feeling so sick and not knowing what was wrong I decided to go to the Student Counseling Center and spilled the tea.

"How often do you feel that tightening in your chest?"

"Every day."

It is odd to hear that the same brain that has been pushing you so hard is the same brain that makes you think you're having a heart attack, trying to get you to slow down.

The only reason why I am I telling you all of this is pretty simple. I am overwhelmed and trying to get over it by writing about it.

I guess I am giving you a glimpse into my life so that when you look at the super people of our world, know that they aren't limitless and are killing themselves to be perceived that way. Understand that we are struggling and cut us some slack when we get our priorities out of wack and take advantage of relationships that we assumed would always be there.

Most importantly, to my fellow want-to-be-perfect people, chill out. I get it, trust me, I really do, but take a deep breath and grab dinner with your friends. Your goals will be there tomorrow and it's better to be a day behind schedule than end up in a mad house.