Attaching A Face To The Disconnect
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

Attaching A Face To The Disconnect

Attaching A Face To The Disconnect

There it was, on the front page of the Daily Bruin: “Dentistry School Manager Arrested on Alleged Rape.”

Imagine unearthing the details about your most vulnerable life experience through the school newspaper. For the past week, I have stood at a crossroads between two paths, contemplating the different outcomes and consequences, sorting through the worries and the influx of emotions. A whirlwind of confusing and mostly vacant emotions are constantly flooding my mind while I write this. For some, this may be another obscure article on sexual assault, but for others, it might hit a personal chord which allows them to relate. For the obvious purpose of privacy and to avoid deviation from the integrity of the subject, I will not disclose details about the incident or those involved. If I can propose any meaningful message here, it is this; sexual assault is disturbingly common, and it is something that does not discriminate or endorse a dress code policy. It lurks in every corner of society, and its formula lies deep, embedded in the minds of deeply disturbed individuals. Its antidote is far too complex to suggest a narrow-minded remedy such as avoiding short skirts or not “drinking the jungle juice.” Sexual assault can happen to anyone, and it happened to me.

While I have been extremely grateful for the genuine compassion and advocacy I have received, I am also sadly disappointed in the ignorant remarks I have had to endure from some people around me. It is my strong moral obligation to address the belittlement of my experience and hopefully open up a platform for individuals around me to relate and dispel the shame attached to this subject. By attaching a face to sexual assault, I hope people can see rape as a visibly real subject, and not a grainy abstract concept that happens to “others." That being said, I am not attempting to arrogantly become a righteous voice for all rape survivors, but I do hope for the chance to help those who feel silenced or conflicted about sharing or speaking up about this taboo.

I’d like to address the only negative reaction I have received throughout this entire ordeal. A week after the incident, I was cornered into a submissive state of discouragement for choosing to report my case. This individual rendered my assault to be a “he said she said” ordeal, and subtly discouraged me from continuing the criminal process because of the “99 percent” chance that I would lose my case. These words were spoken to me with the sheer inevitability that I would experience failure. These words were shrouded in the belief that rape is a fact of life, and that the best solution to this would be to try to "forget it even happened" for the sake of my “peace of mind.” These words and ignorant statements came out of the mouth of a fellow Bruin.

In layman's terms, he told me that even if an individual gets sexually assaulted, they shouldn’t speak up, because the slim chance of losing a case outweighs the benefit of keeping their deranged attackers off the streets, and that no matter what you do or say, it will come across as a “he said she said” argument. This mentality, perpetuated by rape culture, degrades the power that I personally gained through the path I chose to take, and perpetuates the very hostile conditions that intimidate survivors out of speaking up in the first place. Essentially, the argument boils down to this: what he said is going to be taken over what she said.

To the callous individual that uttered these words to me, I suggest you take a walk over to Powell and pick up a book, enlist in a Women’s Studies course, or simply refrain from reproducing to save the world from further circulation of your sheer ignorance. There is no ideal course of action when it comes to sexual assault; every person is different in the way they process their unfortunate event. One thing for sure is that a survivor’s personal spirit and healing process should never be belittled for the sake of making someone comfortable or saving face, because in the end, it is their own story to tell. No one should ever be discouraged from speaking up or reporting this power-taking crime. To violate the moral and human right of another individual is wrong, and every survivor deserves to live in a world where they feel safe and free from judgment in the aftermath.

The first step in combating the same toxic attitudes that lead this individual to believe he had any sort of right to dehumanize me is to respect and empathize. Respect an individual’s own personal struggle, and empathize with whatever decision they make. If I haven’t stressed it enough, this happens far too frequently in college, drunk or sober, done by strangers, best friends, and everyone in between. Sexual assault is not a marker of shame or guilt, and it’s time we recognize and internalize this. Whether we know it or not, someone we know has been affected by this horrible act.

I plead for people to watch their language and really reflect on life in the position of those who have fallen victim. You never know the struggles of those around you and what they have gone through. Limit the ignorant insensitive remarks or commentaries. Radiate love and empathy to loved ones and friends. Never assume that sexual assault is something confined to certain characterized attributes or lifestyles. It happens to men and women and everyone in between. Simple actions such as these could be the spark that ignites the fire within someone to reach out for help, and everyone has the power to stop the cycle of violence.

I am truly grateful for the overwhelming sense of acceptance and unconditional love my sisterhood and loved ones have shown me. I am also very pleased with the swift and cooperative efforts of my school’s administration and law enforcement. Never once have I had my legitimacy compromised. Having a communal system of support is a critical asset for healing and maintaining one’s spirit in a world-altering event such as this. The word of the week has been “strong." “You are so strong, Jasmin;” “I would hope I had half the strength you have if I was ever in your situation.” And while I do feel empowered and awoken to a renewed sense of self-purpose, my decision to publicly speak about my assault does not hold me above anybody else who decidedly didn’t do so. I am not ashamed or embarrassed, nor am I apologetic about anything I’ve said or done. Do not pity nor feel sorry for me; I hold a fiery passion deep within me that longs to see a world where this no longer happens to another human being.

Until then, I will not let this deter me in any way of reaching my personal goals and continuing to see the beauty in this world. I reflect upon a verse from a band dear to me; “the path to heaven runs through miles of clouded hell, right to the top.” A rugged path indeed, but one that I am not afraid to take.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

How Much Of A Coffee Snob You Are, Based On Where You Live

Your state may determine how picky you are about your coffee.


When it comes to coffee, everyone has different criteria for what goes into their "perfect cup." Some caffeine lovers, though, are extra particular when it comes to their beloved beverage. One survey found that the state you're from (or the one you live in now) may play a part in determining how much of a coffee snob you actually are.

LiveShopper Sassie, the company behind this Coffee Project survey, received input from 1,000 coffee drinkers via their mobile app, PrestoShopper, to ask various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less

To celebrate the five year anniversary of his debut album "TRAPSOUL" Tiller has released two new albums and these are my favorites from the release. The deluxe album includes songs that didn't make the cut from the debut album and the "Anniversary" album has brand new songs.

Keep Reading... Show less

Where To Find The Best Coffee Drinks In America, According To A Survey

Here's the coffee shop where you should get your morning brew.


Coffee, for billions of people, is one of the only things that can get us out of bed (after hitting snooze a time or two), especially in 2020. Because, if we're being honest, is there anything that beats a quality cup of coffee on those mornings when all we wanted to do is roll over and go back to sleep? The answer is no. And if you're headed to a coffee shop to pick up your caffeinated beverage, you don't want to sleep on the best coffee drinks in America.

According to LiveShopper Sassie's Coffee Project survey, when it comes to chain coffee shops, there are definitely preferred spots you'll want to hit up for your go-to order — whether you order the classic, frozen, or flavored coffee, an espresso, tea, or other. To figure out the hot spots, 1,000 coffee drinkers across the United States took to LiveShopper's mobile app, PrestoShopper, to answer various questions about their coffee drinking habits and preferences. In return, these survey respondents got money back for their coffee — something any user who downloads the app can do as well (yes, even you).

Keep Reading... Show less

Halloween is every costume-lover's favorite holiday. Growing up in Canada, I remember wearing turtlenecks and sweats under my princess costumes. The opportunity for it to be socially acceptable to dress up as anybody but yourself for just one night a year is one most of us love taking advantage of.

I was doing "couples" costumes with my girlfriends before I ever had a boyfriend. There was a year in high school in which my best friend and I dressed up as two of the Golden Girls and one year in which we went to Halloween parties dressed up as Iago and Jafar.

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Survey: Which Issues Are The Most Important To You In The 2020 Election

If you're a first-time voter or voting by mail for the first time, we want to hear your story.


The general election on Tuesday, November 3, 2020, will decide not only the next president of the United States but also which political party controls the House of Representatives and the Senate. Young and first-time voters will play a crucial part in determining the result.

Keep Reading... Show less

Gary Chapman wrote a book called, "The Five Love Languages: The Secrets to Love That Lasts" and in it, he discusses what he coined as the five languages of love, which are the most common ways that people express and experience love. These five love languages include words of affirmation, receiving gifts, physical touch, quality time, and acts of service. If you aren't sure what your or your partner's love language is, you can take this quiz to find out.

Now, finding out what your partner's love language is step one to better understanding how to love them, but step two is figuring out how to best implement their love language into your relationship. That can be hard, so to help couples out, I put together a list of 10 different things you can do for your partner that is specific to their love language.

Keep Reading... Show less

Articles To Write If You're All About Saving More Money, And Waking Up A Little Bit Earlier

Get your day started right — and keep that budget tight.


For all the young professionals, parents, and students out there who've been working, learning, or even teaching remote — 2020 has likely been the longest year of your life. If you didn't know (sorry), we've been locked down for over 200 days now, and chances are, you are ready for it to be OVER.

Keep Reading... Show less

I Asked Over 50 Students What The Best Part Of Their Morning Routine Is, And The Answers Are In

I asked over 50 high school and college students what their favorite part of their morning routine is, here's the verdict.


Although there was a wide variety of answers, I was able to place everyone into eight different categories. All but about six answers were said more than once!

Keep Reading... Show less

Our world is so full of such sadness, and sometimes we just need something to bond us to one another. What better way than science puns? They're not just for the intellectuals among us (though they might get a bit more of a laugh out of some of these than us more ignorant folks) they're also for those of us who want a good laugh or maybe to impress a particularly science-y crush. Some of these puns might even teach us.

Keep Reading... Show less

Halloween is just days away and though spooky season feels like it's lasted a lot longer than a few weeks of 2020, it's time to add some scares you've actually signed up for to the mix. Personally, I love a good fright as long as I'm prepared.

Keep Reading... Show less
Disney Channel

One of the favorite things we love about fall is Halloween. Since we can't do our usual traditions and activities this year, we can still do a Halloween marathon of our favorite movies safely at home.

And where else can you get some nostalgia during Halloween than Disney Channel Original Movies? Here are nine Disney Channel Original Movies to watch during this spooky season.

Keep Reading... Show less

I Asked Young Adults Their Favorite Parts of Their Morning Rituals, And At-Home Workouts Are Having A Moment

Our lives have changed a lot in the past year, and along with everything else, so have our morning routines.


While we were socialized to be a part of the group that stumbles out of bed into the shower, getting ready for work (or class), grabbing a granola bar for class, and stopping for Dunkin on the way in, being locked at home has changed our perspective on how mornings could be.

Keep Reading... Show less

Surprise surprise, bebes! If you're on a dating app and looking for something to draw the attention of prospective lovers, it's time to add in some of your favorite TV show references and let the matches roll in, especially if you're obsessed with "Schitt's Creek" and/or "The Office."

Because after the dating app Ship rolled out its Top Shows profile feature, they discovered that people with certain television shows mentioned in their bios actually had increased chances of getting matches. Data from the app showed that these are the top 10 shows to increase your chances of finding love:

Keep Reading... Show less

- Like a lot of fellow skincare junkies, clean beauty has been a passion of mine for years — more and more of us are embracing natural ways of taking care of our bodies.

- A few months ago, I was introduced to Symbiome: a newly launched brand with supercharged ingredients from the Amazon that showed faster results in healing acne and pigmentation on my skin than anything I've tried.

- Each minimalist product from the brand has ten or fewer ingredients, all naturally and sustainable sourced. Most have less than four.

Being Indian, clean beauty has always been a core part of my beauty rituals passed down from my mother and grandmother. From massaging warm coconut oil into our scalps to sweeping DIY turmeric saffron masks on our faces, most South Asian households were doing the clean beauty thing before the Western world labeled it as such.

For that reason, when I first heard about Symbiome: a clean skincare brand featuring supercharged ingredients sourced from the Amazon, I was immediately intrigued. The brand features four postbiomic oils, a restorative cream, and two cleansers.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments