There is a vast array of emotions at the edge of your comfort zone. When your comfort zone is tightly limited by your shyness, it makes things exceptionally harder. When I was younger, I was horribly shy. I didn't like talking to people. I didn't like talking in front of people, and I was irrevocably nervous to give presentations in class. When I told my parents and friends I wanted to be in theatre, I'm sure they were pretty shocked. I mostly joined theatre because my cousin told me not to since the director was an ass. I signed up for Drama I anyway. Auditioning for my first musical was pretty nerve-wracking for me. I know I'm not a good singer, so singing in front of people terrified me, but my friend wanted an audition buddy.
I had never strayed so far out of my comfort zone, but I had surprisingly been cast as a chorus member in the show.
When the opening night of Beauty and the Beast rolled around, I was pretty nervous to perform in front of so many people. We had a huge crowd that night, I had family there, and I didn't want to mess it up. I was a bundle of nerves when I walked out onstage that night. The entire show went by in a blur, and before I knew it, it was time for curtain call. Everyone had gathered on stage, the crowd was cheering, and we were all holding hands for our final bow.
The lights went out for the last time, and I suddenly had no idea why I was nervous. My heart was racing, I couldn't stop smiling, and I felt absolutely… giddy. I've never felt giddy before in my life, but there's no other word for how happy I felt. That feeling was so addicting.
I spent the next four years in theatre chasing that feeling. I never realized that stepping out of my comfort zone like that could bring me so much happiness. And to think, I was so afraid of talking in front of people! It took nearly four months for me to get over my stage fright, and I was so blissfully excited to find myself on stage. Whether it was being in the spotlight, or behind the scenes, I was in love with theatre.
I began to crave acting, and technical theatre. The idea of creating something out of nothing, standing onstage, and generating so much emotion out of thin air? It's incredible. Words can't describe how happy theatre has made me and now that I've graduated, I miss the feeling. I miss everything about it. I may have gotten extremely aggravated, or stressed out, but I wouldn't have changed it for the world.
I never would have thought overcoming my stage fright would be such an amazing decision. I never thought getting out of my comfort zone would have changed my life so completely.
At the edge of my comfort zone, I found happiness. I was no longer limited by how shy I was, and my comfort zone grew. I was happy and outgoing, and I felt like I was on top of the world for four amazing years. But everything comes to an end eventually. Now, I have to figure out how to live the rest of my life as an adult.
So, here I am, at the edge of my comfort zone. Hopefully I'll be able to find happiness, just like I did with theatre. If I don't… Well, it'll still be one hell of a ride.
