This open letter is not for those who need to figure out which shoes to pick for the OOTD of your choice or choosing to skip your first cup of coffee of the day. This is for all those decisions and choices that make it difficult to breathe. The decisions that make your head hurt and heart heavy. Everyone has them and making tough decisions can easily change the trajectory of your life.
I've been there too many times to count. Those life-altering, mind-numbing, too-overwhelming-for words scenarios where a decision could either mean the greatest thing in the world or the world's worst devastating mistakes that you could have ever made. And after having made some of those important decisions like leaving home, letting friends go, and making healthy choices for me, I think that I would have some very important words to say about it.
Everyone in your life will have an opinion that usually starts with "If I were in your case, I would..." I don't doubt that your loved ones are really the ones that want what's best for you, but their opinions can be very overwhelming. So have a pause button in your thinking, that way you have time to stay still and really, truly, and mentally, take a breather. The situation only escalates when you are not remaining calm.
Being at a crossroad means you have to have good instincts enough to come up with a logic to make a decision. Be okay with the fact that the journey will be hard but you are smart enough to know what is right for you. Asking others that know you well will help you to come to a good place with your decision, but ultimately you know exactly what you want to do. But it is ok to also not have all the answers in the world.
Have confidence that what you decide today can always be re-evaluated depending on the situation. Nothing is ever permanent and no decision you make will be without consequences. But the knowledge of knowing that what you decide can be re-examined at a later date gives you the power of coming to an appropriate place with your decision. If it is what college you want to go to or moving in with someone you love, you have the power to look at all your options again. There really is never true finality to any crossroad decision.
Make good decisions based on all the facts and if you don't know if you have the facts, find them. Nothing of what is presented to you is the whole story. To make informed decisions, fact-finding has to be an essential part of making a decision. You are never obligated to have the answer and an option is always to not make a decision until you feel like you know every angle of every option. Some people call it procrastination, but I call knowing the facts and understanding the consequences in your own way.
Take the time to find out how you feel. Decisions about your life and the way you run it require a certain amount of emotion and knowing yourself is the most reliable way of making a good decision. Love the fact that you maybe could have regrets about it but if your happiness trumps the losses, then you've already come to a good decision.
This process is tough, grueling, and exhausting. Crossroads are infinitely easier to deal with when hindsight is 20/20. But your life is on the line and your happiness could be at stake so taking the time it needs will be rewarding when the time comes to deliver.
