As a college student, I see people every day who are unsure of themselves and miserable over wondering if they have made the right life decisions. Did the professor like my paper? Is leaving a toxic relationship worth losing the person and risking being lonely at this age? How can I make myself invisible so no one judges me and my struggles? As humans all trying to hold on to some form of stability, we try not to shake the delicate balance that is life in fear that it might crumble at our feet.

Years ago, when I learned I had a health problem that caused a lot of my negative viewpoints about myself, I decided to take a stand against the battle of self-doubt. I started by doing exactly what the title of this article asks everyone reading to do, assess my self-worth. I had to begin this process by searching deep inside myself to discover what I liked about me. It surprised me to realize that this was a challenge. If anything I should have been an expert on myself. After all who else could know me better… ya know?

The problem was that for so long I had been forming my life to what others liked about me. I based what I liked about myself solely by the understanding that if someone else liked that attribute then it was a good attribute. Just like if someone didn’t like that part of me then it was a bad attribute. That mindset led to me questioning who I was and who I wanted people to see me as.

So the list began:

I have a good moral foundation.

I am polite.

I have a wonderful family that I love and they love me.

And this went on for half a day. I would think of something I liked about myself then second guess the attribute and repeat the process.

I finally determined that I had at least 10 to 15 things going for me in my favor. Now what the heck was I supposed to do with those things? Logically, it was to own this idea and invest myself into the person I am and who I wanted the world to know about.

Looking back, I remember feeling lighter. I went from wearing uncomfortable clothing every day to my traditional jeans and a t-shirt attire. It was bliss letting go of all the outside peer expectations and owning my own choices. I became confident in my actions. I remember this seemingly never ending nauseous feeling ebbing as I became happy with myself for the first time in years. The insecurities washed away as I realized that people would always say what they wanted or laugh at me in some form or another. The difference this time, and why their comments couldn’t effect me, is because I knew my self- worth.

I knew that I was on the path to something greater. Sure, the thought crossed my mind that the path I was taking could lead me off a cliff. Fortunately, it landed me where I am today. I didn’t fall off a cliff, I found a higher mountain to climb with bigger reasons to celebrate accomplishments I would have never reached without believing in true self.

The shy girl who is terrified of saying something horribly embarrassing and running the risk of people judging me harshly still lives inside of me. She isn’t going to go away and that’s okay. But I have another version of me now that is confident in my actions. The confident version is who takes me on new adventures and paths in my life.

The truth about self-worth is that no one is going to give it to you. It isn’t something you earn either. Self-worth is you waking up one morning and saying my life has value and I am perfectly wonderful the way I am. It is doing what you feel is right no matter what your peers say. Honestly, self-worth is finally admitting to yourself that you are tired of not being good enough in someone else’s mold.

So let your personality shine. The truth is you only get one shot at life. So why spend it basing yourself off of someone else’s opinion of you?