9 Questions & Comments I Hear As a Rape Survivor
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

9 Questions & Comments I Hear As a Rape Survivor

Ask And I Will Tell

9 Questions & Comments I Hear As a Rape Survivor

Since my first article that I posted in August (7 Tips for the Friend of a Rape Survivorr), I have opened up a lot about being a rape survivor. The response that I received and the amazing support from those around me who had not known was overwhelming and deeply appreciated.

For most people who approach me, it's usually with hesitation, which I understand, because rape is never an easy topic to talk about. However, I am very open and willing to share. These are questions I answer most often and my feelings towards statements I receive. I can only speak from my own perspective, so I'm not speaking on behalf of all rape survivors out there.

*Disclaimer: I do go a bit more into detail about my personal story.

Wow. You're so strong.
As much as I appreciate this statement, some days it hurts. Most days, I do appreciate it because it reaffirms the strength I had to recover from my experiences. However, on rare occasions, it makes me feel like sh*t. If this statement were true, I would have been strong enough to stop my attackers, but I wasn't.

Why did you not report?
I have my reasons, just like anyone else who did not report may have. It has been 9 years since my first assault and 7 years since my second. The first time I was raped, I was barely conscious, so I don't have memories of what the person looked like. The second time, I blamed myself and was too embarrassed to tell anyone. Honestly, I was just too young to really know what to do besides just staying quiet.

Do you regret not reporting?
The first time I ever talked to anyone about what had happened to me was my junior year of high school, and by that time I figured it was too late. I wish I knew more and I wish I opened up to the right people, who could have offered me help. But I have no regrets. It's not something I would have wanted to go through and put my family through at that time. However, moving forward, I HIGHLY recommend reporting. You never know if those people will do what they did again, to other people.

How did you get over it?
Time and a lot of tears. It took me until this year (so almost a decade since my first assault) to finally "get over it". It's not something I will ever "get over", because it's something I'll never forget. So, I would say I have accepted it, learned from it and I'm finally able to move on.

Do people treat you differently after knowing?
I have been very lucky to have the people that I have in my life, because they have not treated me any differently. If anything, people understand me better because they know.

I admire you.
My response is usually, "thank you", but I honestly don't understand why. Everyone has a story about overcoming obstacles in their lives. I don't believe my story is more admirable than another's. I know plenty of people who have gone through worse things. I do not discount my own experience; however, it still makes me feel quite awkward to hear this.

How does your family feel?
Honestly, the majority of my family didn't know until I posted that first article. The only people I had told prior to posting was my sister and one of my aunts, even then I had only told them about two months before publishing it. I didn't know how to approach my family about what had happened. Initially, they were upset; however, after having a few emotional conversations with them, I was met with so much love and support.

Do you still blame yourself?
Yes. It becomes less and less frequent every day, thanks to the support system I have, but sometimes I do still blame myself for what had happened. Since I have been assaulted twice in my life, it's easy to think there is something wrong with me for that to have happened. However, I have to remind myself that the act of rape is all about the need for power by the rapist and it had nothing to do with my own actions.

How are you still open to dating after what happened?
I love love. I have always tried to look for the best in people, so I can't label all men as horrible rapists, because that's just not true. After accepting what has happened, I'm finally ready to just allow myself to be happy with someone. All I can do is hope that the people I date in the future are understanding and accepting.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge

After all, isn't it the season of drinking...?

10 Holiday Drinks to Spice Up this December's Movie Binge

Thanksgiving has officially ended which means we are in preparation for the final holidays of the year. December is a busy month, filled with shopping and sales, wrapping gifts, planning family gathering and parties, cooking and baking, holiday movies, and of course, lots of drinking. I know that I will be spending a lot of December watching the ABC Family's 25 Days of Christmas,

Keep Reading... Show less

Planning Another Christmas Party

Don't just plan another plain party but get creative to have everyone wanting to come back next year!

Getty Famous

You know it's Christmas when the radio stations change to all of your favorite holiday tunes, the air is still, and stores have the best sales. With all my favorite things from Christmas happening my least favorite probably has to be when I have to go to another same old boring Christmas party that I get invited to every year. Here are some Christmas party ideas so that you won't have another sad Christmas party.

Keep Reading... Show less

High School Soccer is Wildly Important

For Young Players Who Want to Succeed at The Next Level

High School Soccer is Wildly Important

Whose choice is it? The parent? The player? There are a number of reasons that a kid may sit out of high school soccer, and to be completely honest; It is a huge mistake. High school soccer is the final piece in the puzzle that takes a player from above average or elite, to college ready by the end of their senior year. Every year thousands of talented athletes don't play for their high schools. Why though?

Keep Reading... Show less

8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List

December is around the corner, are you ready?

8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List

As they tend to say, its the most wonderful time of the year! People have begun to compile their Christmas to-do lists in anticipation for the season of sugarplums and gingerbread.

The history of the Christmas to-do lists goes back hundreds of years, almost as old as the holiday itself, however, people tend to fall out of this habit as they get older. This is unfortunate, as the theme of Christmas tradition can add bundles of the spirit of joy to your families.

Keep Reading... Show less

Fall Weather Must-Haves

Put away the swim suits and your favorite high-waisted shorts!


The transitional months of fall can cause some fashion headaches as you try to figure out what clothing to keep in your closet. With limited amount of college living space and the ever-unpredictable Nebraska weather, sometimes it’s difficult to know what should be taking up that precious closet space as you transition into winter. As you pack away those tanks and shorts for the chilly months ahead, get your closet ready with a few Fall must-haves. 

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments