Trust falls are a classic team building exercise. As a kid, I remember doing them in practically every single get-to-know-you circumstance. Trust falls were sprinkled throughout instances like the theater camps I participated in or the school trip to a nature center my class. But I remember one Trust Fall experience most fondly of all. It took place during my "Athletic days", as I so lovingly call them. There was a large chunk of my life where I was a soccer player, and my team and I basically grew up together. We were extremely close.
One day, we all went to a teammate's house to spend the afternoon "bonding" through various team building exercises. The grand finale was, of course, the trust fall. We all created a grouping underneath a rather stout tree, our arms outstretched like nets. Each of us was to take a turn falling backwards from the tree and allow our team mates to catch us simultaneously. It was going pretty smoothly until one of our taller team mates took her place on the tree. She fell back, and we faltered a bit on catching her. Our team was out of sync. And even though no one was injured in the process, the trust fall had failed.
I have never seen that happen before. In my life, up until that point, someone had always been there to catch me. I knew that the trust fall was merely metaphorical, but it baffled me to discover that trust may not be as clear cut as it seemed. So naturally, I have ended up with trust issues. By no means to I blame it on that one snapshot from my young life, but I have to admit that sometimes, when I hear the word "trust", my mind wanders back to that situation.
I can't pinpoint exactly how my trust issues started. Honestly, it is probably an accumulation of events in my life that have left me a little jilted. It's always been a part of my personality that I take awhile to warm up to people. This part of myself isn't anything new to me. What's surprised me is how long it's taken me to acknowledge it.
When I first started college, I felt like I wasn't making friends as quickly as the people who surrounded me. They were so open and friendly. They could start a conversation without any awkward pauses. As an introvert, I was impressed. But I knew it wasn't just my introverted side that was causing me to struggle, it was something more. Through ice breakers and orientation games, the majority of the people I was around were so willing to share, and so fearless in doing so. I couldn't do that. I'm not the kind of person who lays everything out on the table the second you meet her. I never will be, and I know many other people are like this as well.
Still, it got me thinking. How can I own up to my trust issues, but still create some new relationships and really take advantage of this situation? Well, it wasn't easy. Ultimately, all it took was me approaching two girls and starting a conversation with them. And yes, it took me a bit to open up to them, but in turn they have shown me so much love and support, and together we have pieced together an entire group of wonderful individuals with whom I feel incredibly comfortable with. Have I shared every single, nitty gritty detail of my life with them? No, and I know they haven't either. All I know for sure is that forcing myself out there and meeting these great people at my school has only helped me with my trust issues. They're still existent, but their pull is not nearly as strong as it used to be.
Now, I can own them. Now, I can trust more. Even if it's just a little bit.





















