This article is about nothing. Yeah, that’s it. I didn’t just say that as a way to grab your attention with a headline this article is really about nothing.
I didn’t want it to be this way. In fact, I was all set to write about expressing yourself and how people are doing it now more than ever with their fashion choices. I was going to go on a tangent about how society is way more open to people being themselves even if it seems kind of strange. But, I got halfway through and I just didn’t like how it was going so I scrapped it.
Then I had a new idea, I’ll write about all the people who have helped me get to where I am today. I recently graduated college and I owe props to a lot of people. I was going to open with that old saying about giving flowers while people can smell them and it started off really strong.
I actually finished that piece, but when I reread it it just seemed like I was listing a bunch of names. It was a lot like this “Thanks Haley, thanks Dee, thanks Cory, thanks Nick, thanks David, thanks Julian, thanks Josiah, thanks Charles, thanks Kanton, thanks Princess, thanks Steve, thanks Sam (Vito and Fischer), thanks Dave, thanks LaDonna, thanks Martin, thanks John (Thorton and Daniels), thanks Ellie, thanks Bria, thanks” see how boring that looks. Plus, I wouldn’t have had enough room and I would have left people out…like how I just left Jason, DJ, Zach, and a bunch of other people out.
After that I figured maybe I should just write an article about how much I love Rick and Morty or Steven Universe, but I could never put feelings that strong into words. Also, I would have come across as a fan boy. After all, they’re the greatest shows on TV as far as I’m concerned.
But, I didn’t give up…I just took a break. I started watching ESPN. Kevin Durant had given a really great quote. I love KD; he’s great. I even met him once back in 8th grade. Then I turned to Cartoon Network, but, to my dismay, Teen Titans Go was on. That gave me an idea!
I started to write about how much better cartoons were back in my day. But, half way through I realized I sounded like an old man hating on a new generation. I’m sure I’ll do that exact thing when I’m old, but I’m only 22 right now so I’ll hold off on that.
I could just write about Trump. I could literally write a book about all the reasons I don’t like that man. My headline was going to be My President is still Black and my lambo is still blue. But, by now I’m sure there is literally nothing that hasn’t been said about him negative or otherwise. I labored in futility for about 30 minutes before I realized I just wasn’t saying anything new about him. Oh well.
Then I thought to write about how much I hate ankle socks (so much). But, c’mon that just sounds stupid. Even though, they are a blight on civilized society.
I kept thinking and thinking until I realized hours had passed. HOURS. At some point, you have to admit defeat and I had reached my limit. So, I just wrote about my experience trying to write an article, but ultimately coming up short. It’s kind of a lame copout I know, but it’s the best I could do. I’m sorry. I thought that an article about how I couldn’t write an article would be really whack.
But, if you’re seeing this sentence than you’ve read all the way to the end. So, I must’ve done something right!
