For days I’ve been contemplating on what the subject of my article should be and how to make it interesting. Then, I decided why not talk about something stimulating? Something I am extremely good at; overthinking. This is something we’ve all either done at one point, or still consistently do. To some, too much could be a good thing. But to most, overthinking and over-analyzing can be detrimental habits to practice and may lead us to make mistakes.

Early this morning, around 2 a.m., I received a call from one of my good friends. Thinking it was an emergency, I quickly answered the phone. Come to find out, she wanted to talk about her date again, going over with me the do’s and don’ts of her special night. It may seem harmless, but the problem is that wasn’t the first, or second time she wanted to have that conversation. For the past couple of days, she’s been interrupting my classes, studies, and activities for her fear of the worst. Her head keeps going around in circles just based off of the thought that something could go wrong. In her shoes I could understand how it’s a little different, but I have to ask myself sometimes; is it really that serious?

Something that I often notice is that overanalyzing situations puts us at a standstill in our lives. Whether it be in relationships, work, or sleep, something is given up in order to waste time on constantly thinking about the multiple possibilities of the direction a scenario could go in. This can lead one into a state of frustration or even depression. The advice from most people is to, “forget it” and “let it go”. However, as the saying goes, “most things are easier said than done.” So the question is, how do we really get rid of this mental disease? First, find the source and chop it down from its roots.

Overthinking often comes from the fear of imperfection. This is especially relevant to black girls and the pressures of society. If it’s not one thing, it’s another, and it never ends. Black girls are always pushed to the forefront of society, and never seem to get it right. Needless to say, this fear then points us into the direction of analyzing every possible way the situation can go, especially the negative. Then we love to play this game of trying to fix the negative when in reality, we haven’t faced it yet. Like every bad habit, it takes daily determination and time.

In the middle of class, my phone goes off again. It’s her, and I really have no clue what she would be calling about since we had a two-hour conversation last night about her “Enchanted experience.” I return her call back later only to find out that she doesn’t know if she’s going to take her out again. She’s telling me all the things that she thought could have gone better, and why she thinks her fairytale is not going to happen. In the middle of her rambling, I cut her off and say, “Listen, you’re overthinking it, and you didn’t do anything wrong. If she doesn’t call you back that’s on her loss not yours, you need to forget it and let it go.”