When I turned eighteen, I was magically crowned with the coveted title of “Adult”. I use the capital “A” because it is a noun and I use the quotes because it is the most elusive concept known to mankind. It is a thing people expect you to miraculously be with next to no qualifications or experience. It is a place you go after seventeen wonderful years of no responsibilities. The world expects you to have a grasp on life, a little wisdom, and a lot of common sense. All of which take years to acquire, far more than I have lived. Upon turning eighteen, we have no inkling of what it takes to live in the “Adult” world. There is an art to surviving and maneuvering around in this strange world to which we newly belong. A rhyme and reason to it’s rules which we learn on the fly and from repeatedly failing miserably. However, in an effort to help others I have discovered the secrets to the art of “Adulting”. This is not a be all end all list of how to make it through life unscathed, it is more of a life hacks or quick tips to try to help you avoid some mistakes those “Adults” before you have made.
1. How to problem-solve
Call your mom every five minutes. First of all, she has been around the block a time or two and I personally guarantee she knows the answer to any sort of question you may have. “Mom, how do I get wine out of my white carpet?” “Oh, yes blot with a mix of detergent and water, dear, and it will come right out!” “Mom what do I do to get rid of a cold?” “Well, honey, if you have a sore throat lemon tea and a teaspoon of honey should help and gargle with a salt water mix, if you have a cold take cough medicine, and if you have a runny nose try Sudafed.” The list goes on and on as far as the eye can see because to be honest the treasure trove of knowledge that is our mothers is endless. Secondly, you will absolutely make your mom’s day by calling her and making her feel like she is still apart of your life even though you no longer are under her roof.
2. Grocery Shopping
It is like Candyland and your own personal hell at the same time. You have free reign to buy anything you want so the first time you go to the store you buy all flaming hot Cheetos, cookie dough, ice cream, mac n' cheese and unhealthy food your mom always said "no" to. The next time you go, you buy all the healthy veggies, avocado, fiber one snacks, hummus, and anything else you can justify as healthy to make yourself feel better. Each time you go, though, you will forget one vitally important item. To avoid this devastating realization when you get home and find out you screwed up big time, make a list, check it twice before you leave and POOF problem solved!
3. Laundry
The most evil part of being an “Adult”. It is so easy to do yet so many things could go wrong. Make sure you actually separate lights and darks. Do not let a red sock hang out with all of your whites in the wash because everything will end up pink. Check all pockets before you put things in the washer, you might find money or you might find that stack of napkins you snagged for later in case you needed to sneeze in class. Pro Tip: when Kleenex for napkin gets wet, it turns into paper mache and sticks to all of your clothes. And yes, when you try to get it off the floor of the laundry room will look like it just snowed. You do not want to have to be in that situation, trust me, it takes up too much time and energy. Just check your pockets.
4. Budgeting
You mean, I cannot eat out every night and still be able to have money for textbooks? Drat and double drat! This also means no excessive online shopping, binge ordering unnecessary things from Amazon Prime, and/or purchasing anything fun whatsoever because you are a broke college student and you need to eat food and buy school stuff. Yes, this does suck. No, it will not get easier when you get a job and money. Why? Well, because then you need to start saving. Draining you bank account to zero every month is a really bad life decision. On a side note, a credit card is a blessing and a curse. It does not mean you have unlimited money and if you screw it up by forgetting to pay a bill you will damage this super important, highly confusing thing called your credit score.
5. Time-management
It is really really really hard. Now you have all of this free time and no one to tells you what to do. BUT, you have to somehow balance school, work, a social life, me-time, family time, significant other time, extracurricular activities, and going to the gym. The best way to do this is to buy a calendar and plan everything out so you can visualize what your days look like. Thanks to technology, even your phone has this nifty capability in the Calendar app. By using the app, everything you need to know will be at your fingertips in an instant and can be edited the second a plan changes so you do not forget and miss something important. When creating your life schedule, make sure to plan blocks of time solely dedicated to Netflix. Just because you are an “Adult” does not mean you have to give up binge watching your favorite shows. It just means you need to pen it into your schedule.
6. Cooking
Rule #1: EAT BREAKFAST! Rule #2: DO NOT GIVE UP. In terms of cooking for yourself, you either love it or you hate it. Either way you have to get creative. Contrary to popular believe college does not have to be all Cup Noodles and Top Ramen. I have learned that microwaveable soups are super easy and very hard to screw up. They come in all flavors and some even come in an on-the-go sippy cup. Grilled cheese is also a good one. If you are without access to a stove like me, first toast the bread then melt cheese on it in the microwave for thirty seconds. Oatmeal is always easy. If you go on Facebook it is also really easy to find some cooking inspiration on the Tasty page. They have quick video clips of super yummy food ideas. Whatever you do, do not give up, get creative, and make sure a least some of it is healthy. The implications behind the “you are what you eat” saying still terrifies me…
7. Making doctors appointments of any kind
This is when you realized you seriously took advantage of your mom for the last seventeen years of your life. A) You have to recognize that you are sick and that there is a problem or issue that needs to be seen to by a medical professional. B) You have to pick a doctor to go see because you either live in a new area or are too embarrassed to go back to your pediatrician. C) You need to find the number of the office of said medical professional of choice and actually pick up the phone to make the appointment. D) [This one is really tricky] You need to actually show up. For that last one, I hate the doctor, so I always drag a friend with me. If you are a really brave soul, maybe you can tough it out on your own.
When all is said and done, “Adulting” is hard. It is a never ending process that only gets easier with experience. Good luck to all you “Adults” out there in the same situation as I am. It is like the blind leading the even more blind out there in college so I hope this helps.
