There are multiple fears and questions for a first-year college student. One of the biggest and scariest questions is, “Am I smart enough?” Now, let me tell you, that question runs through my mind almost every day, but I have to remember that each person has a specific reason why they decided to go to college. According to the article “What is the Point of College?” by Kwane Anthony Appiah, there are two categories of people: Utilities and Utopias. People who are considered Utilities go to school just so they can obtain a college degree and get out, while Utopians go to school to do that, as well to learn and grow as a human being. This is what I feel like I am here for.

However, sometimes I can’t stop stressing about how I am going to make money in the future no matter what category I fit under. I know, I know, I have heard it a million times. Don’t worry about the money, all that matters is if I love my job, but that’s the thing. What if I don’t get the job I want? What if I end up living off my parents for the rest of my life? What if I am not good enough? I ask myself that question every day. After several months of putting myself down, I realized that’s not good for me. I need to have faith and trust that I am smart enough; that I am good enough.

As students apply for college, they have to pick a major they think will best suit their dream career, which is expected to already be known. They don’t know if it’s actually what they want to do, they just choose what they think they will be good at, which is what I did. So, coming from a high school where I was one of the best at what I do (filmmaking) to a college with thousands of people who are 10 times more advanced at it, is scary. At first, college is exciting, but then it seems like this huge competition because numerous people are raising their hand to be the first to answer a question in order to show off their skills in hopes they get the satisfaction of being the best.

Now all of a sudden you feel uneducated and not good enough to be where you are. These feelings won't go away, but you have to remember that you’re not there to reflect on the things you already know, you’re there to learn about things you don’t know yet. So never forget that it's OK to feel unintelligent in class because the fact is, you’re not. Everybody there has their strengths. If you sat down with someone and told them everything you know, they would learn so much because their strengths are different from yours.

As far as locating a job goes, it might take a some time to find the job you want, but you can’t be afraid of setting goals, reaching out to others, and not giving up. It also might take some serious commitment and searching, but if it’s something you want, it will come eventually. Sometimes it takes trying a bunch of different things before you find what you’re truly good at. Another thing to remember is that in college, you are there to learn and shouldn’t have to worry about making money. Depending on the situation you are in or being supported by your parents or by loans. Don’t let that worry you. I let that worry me, but luckily I worked hard and wasn’t picky.

I am always looking online for potential opportunities, and look at me now, I am writing for this online publisher, I am working at the Starbucks on campus, and I am still participating in random volunteer opportunities to build my creative portfolio. I am loving every second of it. I am moving farther than other college freshmen are and I don’t need to be. Looking back to high school, there are seniors who are the same age as me and have never had a job and don’t have plans for one, which is completely OK as well.

I’m still a kid and need to stop rushing to grow up. Sometimes I get in my head, and you will too, but just know that it’s OK. You have your whole life ahead of you and this happens to everyone. You will get your degree, and you will learn more about yourself. Just sit back, enjoy the ride, and don’t ever think too lowly of yourself.