Although many of us may claim we do not have a type and do not wish to limit ourselves to a specific checklist of a person, a type more than likely seems to find itself liking us time and time again. It never fails.
When that type is the kind of person we do not wish to have, we really can’t help but ask ourselves: Why?
Susan J. Elliot hypothesizes that “water seeks its own level.” This means that if we want to know what is missing in us, what is lacking in us, what unfinished business we have, what our inner struggles are, we need not look further than the person we are involved with (or attracting in this case.)
I interviewed three people to hear their takes on the subject and to reflect upon their love lives. I asked them each two simple questions; 1. Do you have a certain demographic/type of person you attract and 2. Do you have a hypothesis as to why these are the types of people you are attracting?
No, this is not to place blame upon ourselves for the people we are attracting, but rather conceptualizing it.
1. Kay, Female, 22, Heterosexual
“I attract dudes who don’t know what the hell they want. Ha ha, I’m really tired of it at this point. When I was younger it just seemed like it was the norm, but I guess it becomes the norm if I allow it to. I guess I attract dudes like that because I put up with it, or at least used to. You know I’m college educated and all and almost every guy trying to come my way isn’t. That’s honestly a problem now that I realize it. I’m selling myself short. It would be nice to have an equal as opposed to a headache.”
2. Robet, Male, 27, Homosexual
“Being gay in Miami, the dating scene isn’t too bad as far as quantity but the quality is lacking. I’m a ‘masculine gay’ so, not to sound conceited, but getting a guy for me is not hard at all; I swear they treat me like a commodity. But the types of guys I attract are not the types that matter in the long run. I take my profession very seriously- I mean I’m almost 30- and the men I attract are not the types you can build with. It’s really interesting; I think because my dominant nature, many females assume I’m heterosexual and the types of females that approach are what I want in a man. I sound like an ass right now but I want a take charge, have your own, steady type of guy. Not some tee-heeing in the corner fool who can’t hold a conversation past drinking and sex.
I attract men like that because… because they might’ve been ok three years ago when I got to Miami. But they aren’t now. Perhaps I have not progressed as a person externally to the world as I have internally to myself. Who knows."
3. Alexander, Male, 19, Heterosexual
“I attract all kinds of girls, especially in this age of social media and all. I don’t know how it’s going for other people, but it’s been pretty good for me. I started taking pictures for fun and posting it to my social media. From there girls came, and luckily most of them have been creative like me. I started like a year ago and a half ago and I am taking my photography a lot more seriously now. No, I am not dating or talking to any of these E-girls but the attention they gave me did give 17-year-old me a confidence boost which in turn inspired me to take my craft more seriously. If I date, I do it in real life.
I attract girls like them because great minds think alike. Since then, all I attract are girls who think outside of the box and are into art, photography, dj’ing and all. It’s pretty cool. To kind of give you a visual, I am a white Hispanic male. The girls who like me and I like back are usually also Hispanic of any race, or Black. They’re usually of average/tall height and are either working or in college; they all have ambition. We just seem to click more."
