With the release of the new IPhone 7, the initial reviews have been harsh. Some have said that the airpods look ridiculous and will probably get lost five minutes after the package is opened. Others have complained about the abject stupidity of combining the charging port and the ear phone cord. And let’s face it, who wants to ever carry around an adapter just so they can charge their phone and listen to music at the same time.

Thankfully, Apple has decided to introduce their newest product yet to downplay the inevitable failure of the IPhone 7. It is called the IPhone Retro. If you’re the hipster type, and you like our products, like every hipster ever, then the most legit thing you can do is buy the IPhone Retro.

Apple CEO Tim Cook had this to say, “Honestly, we’re just releasing the first IPhone again under a new name, because we’re so embarrassed by the new one. Just buy it, we’re still Apple, that should mean something for the next couple years.”

In fact, the product has been doing incredible in the first few days out of the gate. One Hipster who waited fourteen hours to buy his Retro said, “This is, like, the coolest one yet. Like, I get to have an IPhone, but it doesn’t have, like, that crazy corporate stigma attached to it.”

They said lightning couldn’t strike in the same place seven times, but with the Retro, Apple just proved them wrong.