Most Useless iPhone Apps

Most Useless iPhone Apps

An evaluation of the needlessly evaluated.

We use our iPhone practically every day. In using them, we get to experience many applications that are available on that app store. Some are great, of course. But, others, I question why they exist. Thus, I compiled a list of the absolute most useless applications, so you can avoid them.

1. Phone

The iPhone application “Phone” comes pre-installed on every iPhone, despite the fact that no one actually uses it. Outdated and archaic to say the least, the app is used to vocally connect with other beings. However, it is rarely used due to new innovations, such as texting, emailing, Linkedin-ing, MySpace-ing, Whisper-ing or even Chatroulette-ing.

2. Zips Lite

A knock off of Zips, which you can buy for only $0.99, Zips Lite allows users to zip and unzip pants, by sliding their fingers down their iPhones. How enticing! That’s not all, though. One also has the ability to choose between 10 different undergarments, which can be hidden until the zipper has been pulled completely down to avoid any early excitement. I know what you’re thinking, “This sounds so great! What’s the problem?” The key flaw is that Zips Lite acknowledges gender as a binary when it is, in fact, a spectrum! While developers describe Zips as “primal and modern […] classic and risqué,” users are having problems getting past the loading screen. Nonetheless, Zips is not a complete failure, capturing the attention of Bob Uttered, who gave it five stars and said, “I feel like a pervert!” But for those serious about getting past the loading screen, you’ll have to download the full version of Zips.

3. Calculator%

Designed by Tim O’s Studies, Calculator% allows users to perform simply calculations without the hassle of opening the pre-installed calculator on your iPhone. Other than the fact that the numbers on the Calculator% application have a 3-D-like look to them, the app does not differ from the regular iPhone calculator. Nonetheless, a 2014 user review named the app the “best calculator app ever.”

4. Hold On

The app is great at what it does, but, quite simply, it doesn’t do anything. I’m being too harsh on it. In actuality, the app permits users to time how long they can hold on to the button-like-object in the middle of the screen, titled “Hold On.” To compete with other games on the market, IMAK Creations, the developers of the app, added a multiplayer mode that can be accessed via Bluetooth. While you may expect the reviews of the app to comment on its uselessness, they, instead, discuss the leaderboards. The most recent review, written in 2010, stated, “There are many people with over 1,000 hours [… but] beating people[‘s] scores is the most fun part about this app.” OK, Froyo17, have fun pressing your finger to your iPhone for 1,000 hours. I think I’ll pass. Some others have unconventional methods of achieving glory, such as Lihanitastic, who “taped [his phone] to [his] face,” leading to a new high score.

5. Constitution

Established in 2009, the Constitution allows users to browse its contents at their convenience. You’re probably thinking, “Why would you need a whole app solely devoted to the Constitution when you can just Google it?” I was thinking the same thing until I read — between the lines — that no Internet connection is required for the use of the app. If you ponder over it for a few hours, as I did, you’ll realize that an always-accessible, portable Constitution will one day come in very handy. For example, pretend you’re in Micronesia, and you have lost all Internet connection. You’re alone and afraid, but you realize that your iPhone contains one application that does not require Internet connection: Constitution. So, you whip out your iPhone and begin to read through your favorite Amendment!

Cover Image Credit: Smarterware

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Why I Get Mad When People Say We Are The "Me" Generation

Selfishness doesn't just appear out of thin air, it is taught.

When I hear people say that my generation is the "me" generation it makes me uncharacteristically mad. Bo Burnham, one of my favorite comedians/people ever, talks about it in one of his comedy shows.

He talks about how we might be more self-centered than other generations but it was because we were taught to be that way.

How social media was created so that people could perform, perform their entire lives and get reassurance from others that they were great. I've since talked about this with several friends.

When I write or really when anyone creates anything there are multiple ways one can interpret WHY they created it. Did they create it for themselves, to get rid of some creativity/emotions/boredom? Did they conceive it to share it and have others tell them how amazing they are? Or was it a mix of both, for themselves and for others reassurance, or none of those at all?

It makes it hard to not get in your head as a creator, which, this day in age, is basically all of us. We all share on social media: look at this picture I took, look at how good of a mom/friend/significant other I am, look at all my accomplishments and tell me I'm pretty and great and everything else.

Also, who are we to say that it's bad to be a little self-absorbed sometimes? To want attention and reassurance. I think you only really get in trouble when you come to expect it or need it to be happy.

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So before you call us the "me" generation remember that we had to get the idea from somewhere and that, like every generation before us, we're just trying to be accepted. We were just given a bigger platform to perform on.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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