Most Useless iPhone Apps

Most Useless iPhone Apps

An evaluation of the needlessly evaluated.

We use our iPhone practically every day. In using them, we get to experience many applications that are available on that app store. Some are great, of course. But, others, I question why they exist. Thus, I compiled a list of the absolute most useless applications, so you can avoid them.

1. Phone

The iPhone application “Phone” comes pre-installed on every iPhone, despite the fact that no one actually uses it. Outdated and archaic to say the least, the app is used to vocally connect with other beings. However, it is rarely used due to new innovations, such as texting, emailing, Linkedin-ing, MySpace-ing, Whisper-ing or even Chatroulette-ing.

2. Zips Lite

A knock off of Zips, which you can buy for only $0.99, Zips Lite allows users to zip and unzip pants, by sliding their fingers down their iPhones. How enticing! That’s not all, though. One also has the ability to choose between 10 different undergarments, which can be hidden until the zipper has been pulled completely down to avoid any early excitement. I know what you’re thinking, “This sounds so great! What’s the problem?” The key flaw is that Zips Lite acknowledges gender as a binary when it is, in fact, a spectrum! While developers describe Zips as “primal and modern […] classic and risqué,” users are having problems getting past the loading screen. Nonetheless, Zips is not a complete failure, capturing the attention of Bob Uttered, who gave it five stars and said, “I feel like a pervert!” But for those serious about getting past the loading screen, you’ll have to download the full version of Zips.

3. Calculator%

Designed by Tim O’s Studies, Calculator% allows users to perform simply calculations without the hassle of opening the pre-installed calculator on your iPhone. Other than the fact that the numbers on the Calculator% application have a 3-D-like look to them, the app does not differ from the regular iPhone calculator. Nonetheless, a 2014 user review named the app the “best calculator app ever.”

4. Hold On

The app is great at what it does, but, quite simply, it doesn’t do anything. I’m being too harsh on it. In actuality, the app permits users to time how long they can hold on to the button-like-object in the middle of the screen, titled “Hold On.” To compete with other games on the market, IMAK Creations, the developers of the app, added a multiplayer mode that can be accessed via Bluetooth. While you may expect the reviews of the app to comment on its uselessness, they, instead, discuss the leaderboards. The most recent review, written in 2010, stated, “There are many people with over 1,000 hours [… but] beating people[‘s] scores is the most fun part about this app.” OK, Froyo17, have fun pressing your finger to your iPhone for 1,000 hours. I think I’ll pass. Some others have unconventional methods of achieving glory, such as Lihanitastic, who “taped [his phone] to [his] face,” leading to a new high score.

5. Constitution

Established in 2009, the Constitution allows users to browse its contents at their convenience. You’re probably thinking, “Why would you need a whole app solely devoted to the Constitution when you can just Google it?” I was thinking the same thing until I read — between the lines — that no Internet connection is required for the use of the app. If you ponder over it for a few hours, as I did, you’ll realize that an always-accessible, portable Constitution will one day come in very handy. For example, pretend you’re in Micronesia, and you have lost all Internet connection. You’re alone and afraid, but you realize that your iPhone contains one application that does not require Internet connection: Constitution. So, you whip out your iPhone and begin to read through your favorite Amendment!

Cover Image Credit: Smarterware

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25 Responses To Your Friend Who Doesn't Text Back

Omg thanks for responding so quickly...oh, wait.

We all have that friend. That friend we love to death, but if we are sure of anything in this world, it’s that they will not respond to your text because they suck at texting. That moment when you see “Read 1:04 p.m.” and you’re like “and???? Helloooooooo!”

These are 25 responses for that dear friend.

1. Lol thanks for tagging me in that FB post, now text me tf back.

2. OMG, wait you met Chris Hemsworth and he’s professing his love to you??!! No? Okay, then you can def text me back.

3. Hey I’m coming to help you since you obviously broke your thumbs and can’t respond.

4. Lolol thanks for responding. I’ll just continue the conversation with myself. That’s cool.

5. Good chat.

6. Yeah I wouldn’t know how to respond either, pizza topping selection is a thought-provoking process. Take your time. Meditate on it.

7. The classic: ^^^^^^^^^

8. I hope you’re writing me the 8th Harry Potter novel.

9. That was a yes or no question. This isn’t difficult. You wouldn’t do well with ‘Sophie’s Choice.’

10. Omg, did you pass out from the excitement of getting a text from me? Totally understandable. Text me when you regain consciousness, love.

11. Omg what a witty and clever response. Nothing. So philosophical.

12. The only excuse I’ll accept is if you’re eating guac and don’t want to get it on your phone. Because avocados are life.

13. I love it when you do that adorable thing when you don’t text me back for hours. So cute.

14. Okay I’ll answer for you. Yes, you’re going out tonight. Glad we had this convo.

15. In the time it has taken you to respond, dinosaurs could have retaken the earth.


17. The dramatic but also very valid response: That’s what happens when you don’t respond for 30 minutes. People die.

18. I apologize for asking if you were coming to watch Bachelor, clearly the decision has caused you serious reflection on your priorities. I’m sorry to have caused you this existential crisis.

19. Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship. But like plz respond…

20. Your response time is longer than Ross and Rachel’s entire relationship. 10 seasons. You couldn’t text me back for 10 seasons?!!

21. Wait. You’re responding too fast. I can’t keep up. Hang on. Don’t respond so quickly. Jeez.

22. A subtle but perfectly placed gif. What will you go with? The classic eye roll perhaps or maybe a “you suck.”

23. Did you fall off a cliff? Wait, you don’t exercise. Pause your Netflix and respond b*tch.

24. Omg I WON THE LOTTERY. *responds* Lol now you respond…

25. And my personal favorite and go to, Did you text me and then decide to THROW YOUR PHONE ACROSS THE OCEAN?! Lol swim fast, I need an answer.

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Why tanacon was a Failure

As Philip DeFranco cautioned in his video a day before the event, "there is the possibility that it becomes a complete sh*t show."


Over the past several months, there have been several scandals on YouTube, from Logan Paul and Ricegum offending cultures on their trips to Japan and China, respectively, to, most recently, Tanacon.

Originally the idea of YouTuber Tana Mongeau, who has racked up about 3.6 million subscribers and is known for her story-time formatted videos, Tanacon was a reaction to the long-running Vidcon. While Vidcon has its own independent issues from over the years, Mongeau released a video in the beginning of April titled "Why I Won't Be Attending Vidcon 2018: A Rant." The hour-long rant of Mongeau's personal problems with Vidcon concludes with her proposing - though I doubt, at the time, that she meant it seriously - that she would hold her own convention that would be run with the fans of YouTube creators in mind. Mongeau said that she wanted her convention to be better and freer than Vidcon.

Naturally, Mongeau's large following latched onto the idea, and other well-known creators came to her support, which, in turn, birthed Tanacon. Scheduled to run concurrently with and in close proximity to Vidcon in Anaheim, California, Tanacon held a line-up of many well-known creators from Shane Dawson and Casey Neistat, to Bella Thorne and Ricky Dillon. When paired together with promised free tickets (though attendees could purchase VIP for $65 in exchange for extra perks including a gift bag and skipping lines), it seemed that Tanacon had the promise of success. Though, as Philip DeFranco cautioned in his video a day before the event, "there is the possibility that it becomes a complete sh*t show."

The next day saw 5-thousand people standing in a hot parking lot outside of the convention at the Marriott without water or food. Footage from the event shows teenage girls revealing severe sunburns, chanting for refunds, and utter chaos both in and outside the convention, stemming from general dissatisfaction with the organization of the event. Ultimately, the event was shut down as a fire safety hazard, and the following days of Tanacon were shut down.

But where did Tanacon go so wrong when so many people supported it and hoped that it would succeed? In a revealing 3-part docu-series, Shane Dawson interviewed girls who attended the event, the CEO of Good Times, and Mongeau. On the whole, I admire Dawson's series, beginning with a video titled "The Truth About Tanacon," and I applaud Dawson and his team for talking to several different parties to try and find what really happened at Tanacon, and who is to blame for the failure.

Throughout the series, behind the finger-pointing between CEO of Good Times Michael Weist and Mongeau, it is clear that there is not any one party at fault for the failure. Instead, I think the failure comes from two young people - Weist and Mongeau are only 21 and 20 years old, respectfully - who had good intentions but were blinded by their own agendas. I do remain slightly critical of trusting Dawson's word alone, as he clearly wants to help Mongeau, as a personal friend, and Weist appears only through a screen in the series, and fear that there is even a slight bias towards Mongeau.

However, Dawson makes a good point by claiming that Tanacon came out of revenge against Vidcon, and she was irresponsible for insisting that the event happens at the same time as Vidcon, instead of taking time into account. On the other hand, however, I do feel that more responsibility falls to Weist. For example, Weist claims, in Dawson's series, that he was told that the venue would be able to hold 5,000 attendees, though the maximum capacity on the website is listed as a little over one-thousand, and he signed a contract for the same amount. On the same account, Weist insists that he thought there would be 91 security guards to cover the event, though a record shows that only as many as 25 security guards were on duty at the same time.

Therefore, I can only conclude that Tanacon was the perfect storm of inexperience and poor planning. Neither Weist nor Mongeau were prepared to host an event to such caliber, and all parties involved are lucky that no one who attended was severely hurt.

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