The Apology My Youngest Sibling Deserves

To my youngest sibling,

I remember the day mom found out she was pregnant with you; she had gone into the doctor thinking she had the flu. You were a surprise baby for sure! I also remember the day we went into the hospital a family of four and came out a family of five; you helped our little family grow. I remember being the dirty little six year old I was, holding you with your dark hair sticking out of a bundle of blankets. I was happy to be a big sister again. But I think those six years I had on you, also caused me to take your companionship for granted and for that I apologize. This may be coming a little late, but I just wanted you to know:

• I apologize for not sitting around the play “kid” games with you as much as I should have. I was busy trying to grow up to fast and I didn’t pay attention to the fact that you needed someone to be the Ken to your Barbie.
• I am sorry that I left you out of so many activities; I didn’t ask you enough if you wanted to come along. I was the typical older sister who thought that having her little sibling along wouldn't be cool.
• I apologize for that time in Elementary school when I convinced you, you were adopted. You look exactly like dad and you have moms nose.
• I apologize for my teenage years, I was probably hard to deal with and I was probably even harder to talk too. I am sorry if you ever needed me but you found my door closed.
• I apologize for all the things I am going to tell your future boyfriends (man I have stories that are going to be embarrassing for you).
• I am sorry for all those times I didn’t ask you to come get ice cream with me, or those times I didn’t ask your advice on what outfit I should wear, and especially those times when I didn’t talk to you about how your day went.

Mostly, I apologize that you didn’t get as close of a sister bond as you probably expected as you were growing up. I was busy trying to grow up and I forgot that others were just getting starting. So, as you older sister, I am going to leave you with some advice that I probably neglected to share (and for that I am sorry as well):

• Don’t be in a rush to grow up, you will miss out on the fun of being a kid.
• DO NOT get bangs in Junior High; it’s a mistake that will haunt your school pictures for eternity (and I promise I will use those photos against you on social media in the future).
• Bring mom and dad on your college visits; they won’t let you live it down in the future.
• Don’t feel like you have to follow in anyones footsteps. You bring something new to the table and it’s refreshing and it’s beautiful, so continue to be you.

Here is a promise to you: I will work to be a better listener, better big sister, and better at apologizing in a more timely manner. I love you more than you will ever know and I apologize for not making sure you hear that more often. Continue being your goofy and outgoing self, because you have the world at your fingertips and you don't even know it yet.