Hey there,
Recently I have been neglecting you. I have been putting you down and telling you that you will never be good enough. But I can't keep doing this to you -- after all, you are the most important person I have. Without you, I wouldn't be able to carry on. So I write this for closure between us.
I’m sorry, me. I’m sorry I haven’t told myself that I am beautiful. Every time I look in that mirror, I find at least ten things wrong with me. I’m sorry I haven’t loved myself the way I should. I spend too much time thinking about everything I’ve done wrong, the shame I feel, and the guilt I've held within me everyday for things that I cannot change and in truth, were never that bad to begin with.
I'm sorry that I have spent so long only blaming myself for everything bad that has ever happened to me. Yes, I do take responsibility for what has happened to me, but I also need to realize that in any given situation, I am not the only one at fault and there is more than one factor that plays into things. Plus, everything happens for a reason.
I’m sorry for the pain I’ve put myself through. I’m sorry that I’ve hurt the people who care about me most and have brought them down with me. I’m sorry for the moments I’ve only thought about myself, and thought about my pain and hurt. At the same time, I am sorry that I sometimes undermine my pain. Yes, I am aware that there are people out there that have it so much worse, but that doesn’t mean I can’t struggle too. That does not mean what I feel isn’t real. Pain is inevitable, and everyone will feel it from time to time.
I’m sorry I second guess my choices when I know they are right. I’m sorry my head thinks it knows what's right, but my heart is the one that actually know -- no matter how painful the outcome is. In the past, the most difficult decisions I've made lead to the best results. I'm sorry I have trouble seeing that at times and am too pessimistic.
I'm sorry I sometimes let myself think nothing will ever get better. I find myself sitting around too much and moping when I should be out there living. Things have already gotten better, and will continue to. Life has a funny way of working itself out and eventually everything and everyone will be healed; the key is patience. I've been through tough times before and I always come out swinging. There is no doubt that that will happen again. Plus, I'm so young and I'd be crazy to think I would actually wallow in sadness forever. What do I have to be sad about anyways?
Lastly, I apologize to myself for not thinking I am the most important person in my life. I'm sorry for all those times I have made some one else all of my happiness. And also for forgetting myself in all the hustle and bustle that life often throws at me. Because of all of this I have done stupid things I would have never done if I were more confident, secure, and happy with myself.
Okay, me -- the only way left is up. Never stop improving and looking forward to the future. You have quite a good one in store for you.
Sincerely,
Macie, aka me, aka you.
