Do you ever have those days when you feel like no one is really listening to what you say? Well, I have, and it drives me crazy leaving me feeling invisible, unimportant. It makes me question my own communication skills. Do I talk too much? Am I boring? Am I not aggressive enough? What is it that makes people deaf to my words? Or maybe all they hear is blah, blah, blah...
"I feel like some people don’t understand how to actively listen and be present in the conversation, instead of thinking of the next thing they want to say."
I always experience others talking over me, or just totally taking over the conversation while I was in the middle of saying something, or not listening at all. Most times, I just walk away or let the other person talk. Other times, I just stand there with a dumb look on my face listening to whatever was way more important than what I was saying. Now, I am not talking about the kids or my husband, it is people in general. For example, I ordered a calzone from a local pizza place which usually gets my order right every time, but yesterday I ordered one 14 inch calzone and a small Stromboli. When we arrived to pick up our order they rung me up for three calzones making our total $55, but instead of arguing we just paid the ticket and took the food. Yes, I ordered over the phone, but when she repeated my order back to me and read three calzones, I repeated, “no, just one calzone." Now she might have had a long day and just misheard, but I repeated my order several times.
All day I fumed about this misunderstanding, not only due to the price, but because I started to wonder why I have this problem. It just threw my whole day off as I pondered why people do not really listen to a conversation. I think I speak clearly and I have worked in the customer service field, so I try to make sure that I speak slowly and clearly so that I am understood over the phone or in the drive-thru. But if the person on the other end is not actively listening, then they are bound to get things wrong. How is it we hear what we want and close our ears to the stuff we don’t care to hear? I am just as guilty at times, tuning out a conversation to get lost among my own loud thoughts.
I feel like some people don’t understand how to actively listen and be present in the conversation, instead of thinking of the next thing they want to say. This leads to miscommunications, which can cause many issues. For someone like me, who wants to be heard, this failure of communication is quite disheartening, like what I have to say doesn’t matter. That is probably how many of you feel who have experienced this same issue.
I think that social media and texting has ruined the art of a good conversation. People pay more attention to their phones than the actual person standing or sitting right there with them. Usually, I quit talking when I notice someone is looking at their phone because I know that means they are not listening to what I am saying. Plus, it is rude, but that is another article for a later time.
Maybe I need to work on my own listening skills and observe myself in a conversation to see if I interrupt others making them feel as I did yesterday and every other day. No one likes to feel invisible, and nothing hurts more than feeling like your thoughts and ideas are nothing but a puff of hot air as the words are loosened into thin air without an ear to fall upon.
