If you've never tried writing about yourself sit down and give it a shot. It's not as easy as you would think. Or maybe I'm being a little too harsh on myself. Am I dumb? I guess there are always those people out there who are naturally gifted outliers from those of us that hover around a median base of skill. I'm going to exclude them from the conversation because somebody has to bring them back down to earth, why not have it be someone with less than half the skill.

Here we are again, all is said and done with nothing to show for it but loose ends. I am currently 19 hours late with my submission and the work remains unfinished. I'm stuck with four different ideas, none of which are developed beyond their halfway point. I'm left to decide where to direct my focus, and once the choice is made I'll have likely moved on to half finish another promising idea.

Papers are scattered across my desk, about my failed attempt at teaching myself to lucid dream, my thoughts on current changes regarding my living situation, and moving back in with my parents (just temporarily). I could have left out the 'temporary' bit but the anxiety from the possibility that others might believe I plan on staying there. I risk appearing to be some form of a loser if I don't clarify. Or maybe they will see me as a narcissist if I speak too much about myself.

Something I forget is that this bias has to be expected and is actually taken into account when looking at some of the best autobiographies written. They have an entire class in English on the "unreliable narrator." Of course, I have too much at stake in my life to be viewed as such, but knowing this certainly makes it easier to allow yourself a few benefits of doubt and harsher than deserved criticisms.

A realization I've come to after evaluating this piece dozens of times is that unless you are reevaluating something repeatedly, how are you ever supposed to know whether or not you are actually a biased source, or even if you are making sense at all. Maybe you are just doing something wrong in general? With no history of critique, you are left only with yourself to critique, and yourself can either be an enabling best friend or a defeatist worst enemy. So I'd recommend trying first.

When you're stripped down, asked to poop, and then forced to wipe yourself in front of thousands of people you're going to see what vulnerable is. This is how I look at writing. Was I asked to do this, no? I chose to do this and to expose myself to the world. Does anybody want me to do this, maybe, who knows, there could be a cult following of two people who are under some delusion that I'm cool and worthy of praise. But I guess the only way to find out would be to do it.